Interesting/unusual/rare/odd experiences/visits/tales

Not my story, I read it on the Something Awful forums and thought it was SO PERFECT considering the celebrity that I had to save it.

"My friend and I were on the subway and Bill Murray was sitting across from us. We were nudging each other the whole trip uptown and I guess we made it quite obvious that we recognized him.

As we exited the train Murray walked up behind me, grabs me and gives me a noogie. Bill then whispered in my ear, "No one will ever believe you" and walked off."

It's SO Bill Murray it's painful.

My Girlfriend's Godfather is Seamus from Madness

Maxi Jazz used to help her with her French homework.

Somebody was once convinced I was Jimmy Nesbitt's brother

Jimmy Nesbitt told me to keep the change from a tenner for a pint of Becks Veir

I once told Frank Lampard off for walking straight out into a busy road

Pete Docherty gate crashed a party my mother-in-law was at and proceeded to try and nick everything

I think there's also a Basement Jaxx song about my mother-in-law

My father-in-law played keyboard for the Squeeze for a bit before Jools Holland

I was sat at the usual spot waiting on a job last week. No one else around, just me smoking a tab.

This guys comes walking along and comes up to me and asks me for a quid. I was like, "sorry mate" padded my trousers to signal I had no cash. He sits down next to me and asks "can I have cig off you?"

With my tobacco sitting between us, I could hardly refuse.

He begins rolling and we get talking. I get a better look at him and he has his front teeth missing top and bottom, reminds me of Compo with his scruffy clothes and tammy hat.

We get talking and he asks if that is my bike. "aye, it is". "Do you cycling around the city on it?" "Aye, thats my job"

"I run... Im a runner, I run around the city". Im thinking, fair enough. We get talking more, he claims he could beat to the other side of town and queries if I could do 100m on my bike in 7-8 seconds, I think about it and recon it must be about that. He says "yeah me too, running though"

wow so he is a total nutter. He finishes rolling and I offer him a light, which he refuses and says he must dash. Keeping with his story, he runs out onto the road onto a central reservation. Then this blows me away, he takes off down the middle of a 4 lane road running full pelt.

Thx for the smoke...

...a mate of mine was doing some work at Chris Evans' house near Guildford and whilst rummaging in the attic room came across a box of polaroids. There was one of Billie Fartpiper on the bog looking in absolute shock at having her picture taken whilst taking a dump! Prude!

I wonder if there were any of my ex?

I used to have a friend in Cambridge, where I worked for a while after leaving school, who was a student from New York. He was OK but he slept around a lot and generally didn't treat his girlfriends all that well. I later moved to Sheffield to go to university and met a girl from Ireland who I started dating. It turns out that she had a sister who lived in Cambridge and she had spent the summer there a couple of years previously. (Are you still following?) One day we were flicking through some of her photos and she showed me some from Cambridge and to my horror she shows me a picture of her ex-boyfriend, who turned out to be the American guy I had known from New York....

Years later I went out with another girl who told me (to my utter repulsion) that she'd also slept with Chris Evans.

I'm single now incase anyone cares....

Stephanie Chernikowski told me "Andy Warhol wants his glasses back" tonight, I'm taking that as a compliment.

I met a man tonight who designs jeans for Levis. Seriously, how hard can that be? I was too polite to ask the questions I really wanted to, like "don't you just make the same jeans for a hundred years?"

I have visited every continent.

I have delivered 3 babies (one sadly was still born).

My Godfather is Penny Rimbaud (Jeremy Ratter) one of the founders of Crass.

I had my nose broken when I was seven after being attacked drunk racist.

Thx for the smoke...

I had a quid all along too.

Me and a mate were sitting in the Garden of the Bulgari hotel in Milan sipping cocktails (as you do) when Christian Audigier (the Ed Hardy promoter guy) came up and sat with us. After another couple of drinks we got talking and asked us if we had any weed. I told him I had one lonely joint back at my hotel (a short walk away). He then spent the next 30 minutes trying to pay me 50 euros to go and get it.
"No fucking way mate.... it's me last spliff and I hate your clothes"......

Donna Bishop from Home and Away (circa 1993) is my neighbour.

I once pulled a man out of a river

I had my nose broken when I was seven after being attacked drunk racist.

I wasn't drunk at the time.

I once pushed a man into a river.

I once pulled a man off in a pool

I was once pulled off in a pool by a man

I once pooled a man in a pull off

I once pulled a man cleaning my pool.

I used the internet to meet people once.
Mistake, Mistake, Mistake.

No idea why, but I'm reminded of [SIZE=4][SIZE=4][COLOR=black]Guts by Chuck Palahniuk. Anyone read it?
[/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE]

Tried, the formatting made it very difficult.

yes. very good its available online in PDF...
"like teeth in your ass" genius!

i have frequenly pissed in swimming pools

eww. my friends friend gave peter andre a BJ when he was famous the first time around.

Did he cry?

i have frequenly pissed in swimming pools

I have frequently been pissed while swimming