F**K You! You C**T!! I've just been sworn at!

Spasming?

When I get a cat I'm going to call it Spasming

I'm currently quite fond of hissing.. nice and 'crazybeardyman' primal.. scares dozy peds up good and proper.

I just swore at myself. Bastard.

Last night at Kensington Church Street (Churchill pub) by some tit in a Toyota people carrier driving in the wrong direction causing me to swerve manically to get out of his bloody way, twat then gets out of car and start foul mouthing me in front of his wife and kids (classy), what's the thing to do in situations like this?

D-Lock his window and steal his baby from the carseat. Raise it as your own and brainwash it into having an irrational hatred of Toyota. Thats what i'd do anyway.

i sometimes think im looking out for people to give me cause to swear and generally hurl abuse at. i seem to get some sort of satisfaction out of it and therefore no ones day should be without some small amount of abuse.

I find that people remember abuse more and that it has a greater impact, if vulgar and blasphemous terms are excluded. Currently, I am calling all malfeasors "Australian".

My day isn't complete without a little bit of self abuse........are we still talking about swearing?

On a more relevant note, I think my favourite new trick to get peds to scatter, either just for fun, or when they are crossing inappropriately, is to take my hands off the bars, cover my face, and scream like a lunatic about to crash, the response you get is amazing, and it normally leaves me laughing for at least 10 minutes :)

This technique has been trademarked by Multi-grooves™ all rights reserved 2009.

I find that people remember abuse more and that it has a greater impact, if vulgar and blasphemous terms are excluded. Currently, I am calling all malfeasors "Australian".

I'm sorry Clive but thats absolute rubbish.....you can't tell me that the word "Australian" isn't vulgar!

I find that people remember abuse more and that it has a greater impact, if vulgar and blasphemous terms are excluded. Currently, I am calling all malfeasors "Australian".

Hey! I taught you that!

I think I'm going to use "Look out, you, glockenspiel!" from now on.

I was growled at about 11:30pm on the Goldhawk Road last night ny what looked on the surface like a cute blond. Underneath she was clearly an ozzy scrubba.

That was hippy

Uxbridge is full of pissed up pie munching ozzies stumbling all over the place tripping over their stupid flip flops!
I am going to start a thread where we award points for mowing them down. points will lead to prizes at the end of every month.

If all goes well we will have a flurry of ozzie and Kiwi ped "incidents" around the last friday of every month.

i sometimes think im looking out for people to give me cause to swear and generally hurl abuse at. i seem to get some sort of satisfaction out of it and therefore no ones day should be without some small amount of abuse.

+1

That was hippy

Uxbridge is full of pissed up pie munching ozzies stumbling all over the place tripping over their stupid flip flops!
I am going to start a thread where we award points for mowing them down. points will lead to prizes at the end of every month.

If all goes well we will have a flurry of ozzie and Kiwi ped "incidents" around the last friday of every month.

+1 but kiwis acrue less points, after all they are kiwis

true, it needs a scale, Saffas are worth half points in hard times

D-Lock his window and steal his baby from the carseat. Raise it as your own and brainwash it into having an irrational hatred of Toyota. Thats what i'd do anyway.

I like that. But probably a certain Oliver S will tell us off for doing so....

As opposed to the dopey poms tripping over their shiny white trainers outside every OTHER pub in London... every night of the week.

I still reckon cunts on the phone or ipod are worth the most points.. simply because taking them out is a benefit to society (well so is removing the Aussies but they're less harmful)

i swear at Harry on the Polo court all the time, it fires him up

Prince Harry?

Question:
Cunt crosses road with ipod/phone and coffee in hand inappropriately, what do you do?
A: Mow him/her down
B: Slap the coffee out if his/her hands
C: Yank their headphone cord or mobile

so
------------Points for strike -----------Points for Blood -------------Points for kill in face
Aussies----------2--------------------------------5-------------------------------- 8
Kiwis------------1-------------------------------- 2-------------------------------- 5
Saffas --------0 .5-------------------- -----------2 (harder to make bleed)--- 4
ipeds---------- 1--------------------------------- 5--------------------------------- 6

Question:
Cunt crosses road with ipod/phone and coffee in hand inappropriately, what do you do?
A: Mow him/her down
B: Slap the coffee out if his/her hands
C: Yank their headphone cord or mobile

D: snatch their ipod, replace all tracks with Amy Mann, rate all at 5 star, turn volume to MAX and change language to Canton. Replace ipod on users head and turn on... let the enemy suffer!

Question:
Cunt crosses road with ipod/phone and coffee in hand inappropriately, what do you do?
A: Mow him/her down
B: Slap the coffee out if his/her hands
C: Yank their headphone cord or mobile

Sit up with no hands and steal coffee and pod/phone. Sell phone on ebay and use proceeds to pay a pikey to slap the cunt. Use cord to garotte pikey for plausable deniability and roll away laughing like a hyena

Sit up with no hands and steal coffee and pod/phone. Sell phone on ebay and use proceeds to pay a pikey to slap the cunt. Use cord to garotte pikey for plausable deniability and roll away laughing like a hyena

You got me laughing like hyena there

Question:
Cunt crosses road with ipod/phone and coffee in hand inappropriately, what do you do?
A: Mow him/her down
B: Slap the coffee out if his/her hands
C: Yank their headphone cord or mobile

I'd probably think... "fuck me... theres a cunt with hands crossing the road... dont fuckin see that every day"

Then I'd call my mum.

I am currently enjoying the word "FUNT" and have used it twice today.

I tend to swear more at computers than people though. Usually for being slow. Actually that's why I swear at people too.

D: snatch their ipod, replace all tracks with Amy Mann, rate all at 5 star, turn volume to MAX and change language to Canton. Replace ipod on users head and turn on... let the enemy suffer!

Hush hush now...voices carry....