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is this too much??, if it is i'll delete it.
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Dying of AIDS**An Irishman named Adrian went to his doctor.
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."
Adrian was shocked, but managed to compose himself and walk into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting.
"Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate When things don't go well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints."
After 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Adrian's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. Adrian told his friends they were drinking to his impending end.
"I Have been diagnosed with AIDS. "
The friends gave Adrian their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers.
After the friends left, Adrian's son leaned over and whispered, "Dad, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS."
Adrian said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."
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A little girl came running into the house crying and upset from a small cut she had just got. She asked her mom for a glass of cider.
‘’Why do you want a glass of cider?’’ her mom asked.
‘’To take away the pain!’’ sobbed the little girl.
Well the mom was darn tired of her daughter’s tears so she handed her a glass of cider and her daughter immediately put her hand in the drink.
‘’It doesn’t work!‘’ the girl yelled.
’’What do you mean?‘’ her mother asked.
’’Well,‘’ sobbed the little girl. ’’I overheard my sister and she said whenever she has a prick in her hand she can’t wait to get it in cider.’’ -
Wife rings up her husband:
"I'm at the petrol station, I've ran out of petrol but I'm too scared to use the pumps incase I get swine flu?"
"Silly bitch, it's in Mexico, not Texaco!"
Coat........
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This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “*Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....*” -
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
"Now what are you doing?" She asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's par for this damn hole!"
...from entensity
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:-) funny divorce letter
1 Attachment
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Two peanuts walking down a street minding their own business...one was a-salted :)
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An English cat called 'one,two,three' and a French cat called 'un,duex,trois' decide to have a swiming race across the channel.....which cat do you think won?.......
The English cat won of coruse because the un..deux..trois..quatre..cinq! :-I
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My mate's got a sarcastic washing machine.
It takes the piss out of his underpants. -
another one for the australians:
the original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0L2VaTWs9s
the explanation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTTw9zk0RmA
the tshirt:
http://www.redbubble.com/search/werbeloff
Dylan
won't-do-hills![lewinsky[1].jpg](https://lfgss.microcosm.app/api/v1/files/2330f2b628cc6d78fbbe14a2fe30f3a61fa03158.jpg "lewinsky[1].jpg")
wvm
photoben
31trum
Elioterio
CHUG_IT
slowstephen
silverferret
deleted
Seeds
BRM
n3il
Greasy_Slag
Bearlegged
mattmadegood
freddo
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Posted by
@Pistanator
Dylan, Fantastic. both posts!!