Bird Advice

ha! an interesting read.. I believe you got pumped and dumped.

women are called 'birds' by the the worms they pick up (and shit out afterwards)

Post her number on here. She obviously doesn't like you so let someone else have a go.

I've got credit...

Realise that is a shitload to read and you don't know me from Adam (good bloke BTW) but will appreciate some opinion, demented or otherwise

regarding the "bood bloke BTW" bit, are you able to provide some evidence?

in the 17th century the men of the city of london used to vist bermondsey, which was famous for 2 things: the crows and the prostitutes.

So, "going to visit the birds" is the origin of the term "bird"for a woman.

Saying you never screwed a crow?

Chambers has it as a corruption of 'bride'.

Saying you never screwed a crow?

They all got screwed in the end... :-(

Reverse psychology. Text her and say it was a great evening but you've decided to be a gay so she can't have you any longer. Wish her well in her life e..t.c Then after a while she will start to try it on with you, she will be trying to "turn you". You must resist the first few attempts as you are a gay but then give in and have sex and let her think that she turned you.

Now while she sleeps sick a low dose of nicotine patch on her back. Wake up early and take the patch off before she wakes. Then next time you see her do the same again but increase the dose slightly. She will start to have craving for nicotine but she will see it as cravings for you. Now you've got her.

N.B this will only work if she is a non smoker. If she is a smoker you should use heroin or as I like to call it, my special paprika.

This method never fails. Money back guarantee.

that explains how you got a 'bird'

Jeesus Tommy, don't give away my secrets.

you need jesus on your side ;)

YouTube - Jesus Is My Friend by Sonseed

Look Jimmy. The reason she isn't interested is becaure she wanted some cock and you didn't give it to her. Always give women cock when they want it.

YouTube - The Undertones - Jimmy Jimmy - Old Grey Whistle Test 1979

Look Jimmy. The reason she isn't interested is becaure she wanted some cock and you didn't give it to her. Always give women cock when they want it.

the gold rule.

Didn't expect to see you on here Dale.

Irun some Mystery Method on her bitch ass

Do this if you want to become a socially-retarded robot who has exactly the same conversation with every woman he meets.

Do this if you want to become a socially-retarded robot who has exactly the same conversation with every woman he meets.

'Become'? ROFL...

Do this if you want to become a socially-retarded robot who has exactly the same conversation with every woman he meets.

Conversation?? You got to expand on this! I find the ol Mexican Valium kicks in after about 15mins, thats about enough time to talk her into getting the next round....
Happy days!

I'm not sure on this one, but I think it's where the girl says something, then you laugh and smile, and then carry on talking about Dungeons & Dragons.

there are countless discussions on here that have fuck all to do with cycling.why is this any different.

I enjoy the off topic meanderings. that is what the misc & meaningless thread is for surely?

I'm not sure on this one, but I think it's where the girl says something, then you laugh and smile, and then carry on talking about Dungeons & Dragons.

How is that not Foreplay?!

I enjoy the off topic meanderings. that is what the misc & meaningless thread is for surely?

no! i love them...this place is more about comedy then cycling for me.

Foreplay?!

Now you've completely lost me.