I hate

Turn them off automatically updating. Then only pick and choose what might be useful/stop an app failing

People on classified ads for bike wheels saying things like ‘roll really well’, ‘spin up great’ etc. Absolutely moronic.

What about my Chris King “Rolls good with angry bee sound” wheels?

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‘Starts on the button’ is the one that grinds my gears.
Might as well say ‘stops with a pedal’ or ‘indicates with a lever’.
Oh, hang on, perhaps they mean it’s totally reliable? Well why don’t they say that then? There’s a million other things that could make a car undrivable.

Ha ha yeah.

You’ve got me on to Estateagentese: “This exceptional detached residence, extended and improved to the very highest of standards by our clients and set in delightful gardens.”

All written to massage the ego of the seller and of no relevance to anybody else.

Salted egg flavour anything.
Sorry @Stonehedge but it's true.

Lies, I had those eggy crisps from TKMaxx and they were fucking great. Maybe I'll go get some more today.

but it's true.

Maybe in your reality

I'd rather eat a Tunnock's Teacake.

Currently winding me is people starting comments (online and IRL) with "I mean..." when it's the first time they've said what they are about to say.

"I mean..." when you phrased something badly and want to clarify...fine. But "I mean..." at the start of your first comment? All I can think is that they have a inner dialogue where they said a load already and don't realise the rest of the world wasn't party to it.

Sorry, that should have been...

I mean...all I can think is that they have a inner dialogue where they said a load already and don't realise the rest of the world wasn't party to it.

It's just a turn of phrase, people say this all the time

Fuck me, 3 threads of egg crisp chat.

Yep, and it winds me up all the time!

Filler words. Something people say while they're still putting what they want to say in order in their heads, but want your attention (or to take their place as the active speaker in the conversation). Without those, they'd be reduced to um or er or just waving their hands.

I know what you mean ...

I'd rather eat a Tunnock's Teacake.

What's wrong with a tunnocks teacake? Lovely items.

I hate being refused service if I don't remove my motorbike helmet.

All I needed to do was drop off a pre-paid letter at the local post office this morning. No money changing hands etc. They wouldn't take it. I wasn't about to fuck around removing headset etc so just left.

They'd serve someone wearing a baseball cap and a mask though...

I'd rather eat a Tunnock's Teacake.

I mean, I'd kill for a Tunnocks Teacake.

Fuck me, 3 threads of egg crisp chat.

No no, I don't just hate egg crisps, I hate salted egg anything. Salted egg icecream? NO. Salted egg cookies? NO. Salted egg latte? STILL NO.

Those all sound rough as fuck to be fair.

Look at the absolute state of this. Horrendous.

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Isn’t most ice cream a frozen custard? If so what about salted caramel?

That's legit horrifying. I'll send you some tunnocks if you need some help with the obvious PTSD these would cause in close proximity.

Salted caramel is acceptable. Any sort of custard (yeah I know it's in ice cream but I try not to think about it) is not.

What's wrong with a tunnocks teacake?

hats and I have long argued about their virtues (or lack of same). So I was showing solidarity on the salted egg front.