I hate

Not long before we have bluetooth enabled toilets that give you a Bristol Stool Chart score. Probably.

I would prefer this. I'd maybe even pay money for this...

Like you can't get those in Japan already

Racist, I live in China!!

I actually reckon a toilet that weighs your dumps and charts them over time would be pretty popular.

Jokes aside, we will absolutely have toilets that check for health problems in the future.

Having done the swipe-and-send on a stool recently, this sounds great!

(except the data would be sold and then we’d have to hack our own shit to prevent punitive insurance premiums &c &c or buy shit on the streets and who knows what that’s been cut with?)

They've been mooted for years, no?

I'd be happy for them to stay mooted - Unrestricted screening for conditions where people are non-symptomatic is deleterious to both personal and public health outcomes. Even before you factor in the risks of having that data flying around.

I'd be happy for them to stay mooted - Unrestricted screening for conditions where people are non-symptomatic is deleterious to both personal and public health outcomes. Even before you factor in the risks of having that data flying around.

I agree but doesn't prevent there from being a market for it. Capitalism isn't going to swerve this particular opportunity to monetise paranoia.

I remember watching a stand up show in Austria. The commedian made a joke about the way Austrian toilets are designed with a large flat internal section to present you with your turd so you can score it out of ten.

The (I assume) Austrian staff in the bar also lol'd.

Presumably it wouldn't flush until the data had been submitted. Hope that Internet never goes down and the toilet manufacturer doesn't close the cloud service.

The "German poo shelf" is more about inspecting logs for presence of worms as they eat a lot of pork. I guess it extends into Austria too.

That's a hell of a long poo shelf if it reaches all the way from Germany to Austria!!

.https://www.german-way.com/german-toilets/

People who wash their cars constantly. My neighbour washes his VW camper at least once a week, sometimes twice. It stays clean for about 3 minutes until you drive it down the road and its dusty and dirty again, meanwhile I now have a front drive full or car soap and dirty water.

Pay attention to the blue teeth, over Bluetooth named after some old dude who was called blue tooth.

searching for supplements.

just stuff like magnesium, potassium.

edit: and this truly flipping terrible Brian Adams song playing on radio 2.

The song Walking on Sunshine, and the teachers that thought it'd be a swell idea to get the kids in the primary school opposite my house to sing it on repeat, and the kids singing it.

Nah, it's great!

https://youtu.be/knpOqVWeSP8

Tryin' to feel good?

Bluetooth functionality doesn't achieve anything you can't already with a small net and a couple of old forks.

a couple of old forks.

?

That looks lovely.

It is.

I have quite a collection now.

I probably need to add them as named items to my insurance.

Endless phone updates. Just fuck off improved camera stabilisation, I don't fucking care....