Jokes / Joke du jour!

Got my hands on some Chinese inscripted tiles from a charity supporting ex-servicemen. I'm delighted with the pro-vet Mahjong.

During WWII, Tommy Handley lent his name to a brand of strong spirits that were being sold to help the war effort. Managed to obtain a rare bottle of it. Very happy with the high-proof ITMA gin.

Ha!

I managed to sell a cake made by a Bake Off presenter, who had substituted the butter in the recipe for a healthier alternative.

I'm very pleased with the Prue fitness margarine.

My personal trainer recommends drinking a protein shake at 3am.

I thought that's whey past my bedtime.

Been laughing at this all day. Excellent.

Agreed - brilliant stuff.

I paid £200 for a bike fit from an ex-pro the other day and he simply adjusted my saddle a bit. I said I wasn’t convinced the £200 was worth it. He said you can’t underestimate the pro-fit margins

Dave Brailsford was asked if properly prepared amateur riders could achieve what his team has and he refuted the claim saying that it was all down to fit pro marginals.

I posted a hilarious joke as a new topic. I was informed that this was incorrect forum etiquette and it had been moved into this one. That's pro thread merging.

I'm sure I saw Homer Simpsons wife in a taxi. Got a picture of some blue hair
Proof its Marge in

U ok hun?

O, hai. You do know that the concept of images of the prophet is fundamentally offensive to Muslims?

Yup. I could have put Moses, I guess. Or maybe Jesus. But I just went with the best-known prophet of the current time.

On the plus side, look at the fabulous series of spin-offs it’s created. Win.

The spin-offs were win, sure. Buf if that was your original joke, then it was quite a bit thoughtless. Unless your specific intention was to challenge concepts of blasphemy or censorship or whatever, in which case it would be an entirely different conversation.

I didn't rip into the joke and its author, I just said it was crass. Reckon that was fair comment. Particularly if "best known prophet" was your only reason.

A lot of cafes at the moment trying to up their margins by serving fake butter. Whenever I challenge them on it they always come out with the same line...
Prove it’s margarine.

Has Coronavirus forced you to wear a mask and goggles at work? You may be due condensation.

I wore my old Reebok Pumps recently at a rally, for a bit of pneu-fit marching.

That’s funny, cos it’s true. Sadly.

I don’t think it was crass. It was a joke based on wordplay, nothing more. As an atheist I cannot contemplate blasphemy. Perhaps I underestimated the audience here and should have put Ezekiel instead.

Anyway, enough. Humour is like Covid. You either get it, or you don’t *

*that one probably needs a bit more work, tbh.

I'm an atheist and think religion is stupid, but I know it's important to some people and that any depictions of Mohammed are considered pretty offensive, so I wouldn't joke about that unless I wanted to offend or make a point about that being stupid, I think your joke was neither, just insensitive.

so I wouldn't joke about that unless I wanted to offend or make a point about that being stupid

This.

It’s an interesting discussion.

Crass and insensitive aren’t the harshest criticisms and itsbruce has stated that they think no offence was intended so I think this is all balanced and valid.

On the other side I’d argue depicting Muhammed and making reference to a depiction of Muhammed are two different things. Where do you draw the line?

I wouldn’t pass that joke on as I understand it is dodgy to use the initial word which I guess is the point. But at the same time I think taking offence to it would be a strong viewpoint to have. Is saying that religion is stupid any different ? Why is one okay and the other not?

All interesting and I see both sides here.

Me thinking a religion is stupid is as valid an opinion as someone believing in it, on both sides I'd assume in any actual interactions between said people there would be some mutual respect of said opinions and that both of us are more than just those opinions. That means I wouldn't be a dick about their beliefs, and wouldn't do something that would go against them unless I wanted to piss them off or it goes against something I believe. Not depicting Mohammed, or in this case referencing depictions isn't a hard thing to do and is respectful of what some people believe, and I like some of the people who believe it, even if I think it's a bit daft. I don't give a shit about the actual joke, but if it is just ignorant insensitivity it doesn't hurt to point it out in case it makes someone less ignorant and insensitive.

Lol.