Jokes / Joke du jour!

two cows in a field, one says to the other, "guess what?" "what?" replies the other... "I got artificially inseminated today, straight up, no bull"

Cheese puns, curd I think of another one?

Whey past caring

There must be still tons of them to find.

Oh come on!
;-)

Name the only cheese made backwards... Edam.

(yes I hated that one too)

This is why there needs to be a clear set of rules.

The cheese puns come, and manchego.

I red Leicester is where the highest concentration of cheese puns is. Certainly it’s double Gloucester.

This is why there needs to be a clear set of roules.

surely...

Where does the communist intellectual cheese live?

Red Leicester.

Oh I do beg your pardon. I thought I'd caerphilly read all of them.

Who controls all the world cheesemakers?

The Haluminati...

What happens if you pick up hot old copper wire?

You get verdigris burns

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending...

I bought an elephant for my friend's room.

They said, "Thank you."

I said, "Don't mention it."

Doctor reckons I've got Autocorrect Syndrome.

I didn't even know I was I'll.

I’m in a band called 1023 MegaBytes

We haven’t got a Gig yet

Shamelessly stolen from Reddit.

**Steals**

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans towards her and asks "Do you mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead" the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat and says "Plethora" then sits back down.
"Thanks" the woman says "that means a lot".

A car passenger shouted at me today....'Pull over!'

Weird... I was wearing a t-shirt.

God: then you become a butterfly
Caterpillar: wow! The rest of my life as a butterfly!
God: yeah lol ‘the rest’
Caterpillar: how long?
God:
Caterpillar: how long, god?!

Still got one up on the fruitfly...

A woman's husband dies and at the funeral parlour she is asked how she would like her husband to look in the open coffin at the funeral. "Oh I am so glad you asked. If its not too much trouble I would like to see him in a tuxedo. We never could afford one but it would mean so much to me. " the undertaker promised to do what he could. The day of departure came and he was dressed as she wished and the widow stopped after the service to thank those concerned. "Oh it really was no trouble or expense madam. Quite by chance that very afternoon a gentleman arrived who had passed away in a casino. He had a gambling addiction which was of great concern and strife within the marriage. To his wife the sight of him in a coffin wearing a tuxedo would have been too much to bear. So with you husband beside him as we prepared them both for their final journey it was just a case of swapping their heads".

A friend of mine works on vehicle emissions
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They said they were so overworked
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They said they feel constantly exhausted