Jokes / Joke du jour!

Want to hear a joke about Nobelium?

No

Want to hear some funnies about Holmium?

Ho Ho Ho

Abbot: "So, He's on first base..."
Costello: "Who's on first base?"
Abbot: "He was."
Costello: "Who's he?"
[long argument]
Abbot: "Then I threw the ball to U"
Costello: "I wasn't even there!"
Abbot: "I was there."
Costello: "You may have been but you sure as hell didn't throw the ball to me!"
Abbot: "Of course not. U and Me weren't on the same team."
Costello: "You can say that again!"
Abbot: "Not for a while. The ball hit U in the face."

That could go on for a long time...

Boron

It's Argon a bit silly in here.

Cesium iserable attempts at humour. They're insulphurable.

It's always the same silly conglomerate of people

We can keep doing dis til late in the night.

Au enough with the puns!

There's an element of irony in this thread.

Fe comes out with another shit pun I'm going to fulminate.

first rule of chemistry, never lick the spoon

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
....
It was a polar bear!

Kafka jokes blog? :)

Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

1 Attachment

Never lick anything...

It's a shame that Molybdenum is Mo not Ma... :(

In other news

Someone asked me yesterday if I knew what Campanology meant, to be honest it didn't ring any bells...

Boom boom! Or should that be ding dong?

Bell puns are a-peal-ing

Stolen from Radio 6 this morning:

"I thought I saw Michael J Fox at the garden centre yesterday, but it was difficult to tell as he had his back to the fuchsias."

A young lad goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs son, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his nappy. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.

There are two types of people in the world. Those that can draw conclusions using deductive reasoning...

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem.