Jokes / Joke du jour!

But these will be killer.

Glad someone has the bottle to change career. Also humpback is not toothed. #pedant

You'd better baleen it

Right, wail all you like but I'll have a go once I've thought of a pun.

No need to set-a-shun tone like that.

Good luck. My last one was a sheer fluke.

Where do you weigh whales.

At a whale weigh station.

I think we orca do with a bit of break from puns...

Ooh! You did another one on porpoise.

is there a porpoise for these puns?

the pun gods weep

Are these puns making you feel a bit Moby Dick?

At a whale weigh cetacean?

Forever in our harbours.

Puns k'rill-y grate after a while
(Especially tenuous ones)

I was hoping to come up with an electric eel joke last night to tie in the recent themes of marine life and electricity. Unfortunately nothing sparked my imagination...

Still in other news....

Did you hear about the transvestite with a penchant for recreational drugs and fish?

He couldn't resist high eels...

Gah - I've been trying to work 'cetacean' in to a pun for 2 pages now!

That's a moray.

Reports are coming in from the Hampton Court area that a gang of men dressed in heraldic gear are about to start luting.

Reports are coming in of rioting on Wimbledon high street.
The disturbances have occurred outside the Blacks and Millets camping shops.

Police describe the atmosphere as tents...

I remember being at a comedy festival thing and a guy had the joke:

"I hate blacks......"
-very uncomfortable long pause, nervous audience-
"...I'm a Millets guy"

My friend Alice was once travelling across the US, and was let down by her travel company. By some incredible stroke of luck, she ran into Jello Biafra, lead singer of the Dead Kennedys. After a long chat with him, she asked him the best way to continue her journey to the West coast, and he replied, "California? Uber, Alice!"

That's a very niche dad joke.