General Lucifer's Verbal Warning

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  • Rutland Arms - Brown Street, Sheffield, S1 2BS
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  • Our esteemed resident wordsmith/keythumper, @General_Lucifer is coming to the fine city of Sheffield to give a live reading of some of his stories. There's even a possibility of some exclusive new material.

    It's his first time stepping out from behind his website and thread, https://generallucifer.wordpress.com/ https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/156617/?offset=3725#comment12958468, so duct tape your kids to the ceiling for the night and pop on down.

    The Rutland Arms is a moderately acceptable Yorkshire establishment with good food and an unfailingly fine selection of real ales and other perfectly enjoyable booze. There's even good non-alcoholic drinks for drivers and reformed degenerates. For out of towners, it's close to the train and bus stations and nearby parking won't cost you much more than a quid.

    All of this is available to you at that ideal Yorkshire price; Nowt (food and drink not included). Places are limited so book early to avoid disappointment. Donations will be accepted to what may turn out to be a prodigious performers bar tab.

  • If @edmundro is still driving I'd love to shotgun a ride.

  • Is there a way I can share this out with the forum? Also can I put a pint behind the bar for Luci from afar? No way I'm driving to Sheffield from Fife unfortunately, I'm eagerly awaiting the Scottish tour dates!

  • I'm buttering up my boss at the moment but it's looking good that I'll be driving up.

    Car List!!

    1. Edmundro
    2. b&d
    3. ??
    4. ??
  • I might pop along, see what it's all about...

  • Write a post stating everyone's forum name that you think would be interested in attending.

    Beers from afar? Not sure. Paypal, can of McEwans in the post, IOU written in blood?

  • Meh, I don't want you to truck all the way down here from Leeds for something that might not be worth your effort. How about I tell you how the first one goes and you can see if it takes your fancy for the second.

  • Actually, I just checked out the Rutland menu - if your boy is a flop I can just sample the Sheffield wares. The beer selection is exemplary too!

  • The chef's a bit odd, but I'm told he's actually bloody good at cooking.

  • This ties in perfectly with a trip I already have planned to York! I'll be there with the girlfriend

  • Part of me wants to go and shout bacon and boxes from the back of the hall.

  • Part of me wants to go and shout bacon and boxes from the back of the hall.
    Old Skool awesomeness!

  • Brilliant! Do come over and say hi!

  • Will you do the one where the fella has to ring his mate the electrician to get the bum beads out of his reccer because he's got some long-nosed pliers?

  • Christ - that must've smarted a bit.

  • I might. You'll have to see.

  • Not sure I remember that story. Although it does sound like a normal Tuesday afternoon on Leeds.

    Might have to trawl through the archives again.

  • How appropriate to choose the Rutland Arms as the venue for this - I believe the menu features the 'Slutty Rutty Butty' amongst other fine offerings!

  • Rutty Butty: molten cheese, spicy tomato sauce, bread - £4.00
    Slutty Rutty Butty - as above but like some unholy marriage of bacon sandwich and chip butty (in a good way) - £5.00

  • I might try one of those in 3 weeks. Not before though - I don't want to hurl.

  • They close the kitchen at 9pm. You're not that short of material are you?

  • I'll get the missus to order me one for close of play I reckon I can keep it going a good hour or more!

  • There used to be a burger van outside one of the numerous sketchy-natured night spots in Essex that sold a "bunk up".

    It consisted of two fried eggs, two dirt burgers, four rashers of bacon, an entire sliced and fried onion and a portion of chips. All of this was carefully served up in a bap the size of a baseball mitt.

    There was only about ten thousand calories in there, so plenty for the average alcohol-sodden knuckle dragger who hadn't managed to select a mate/victim for the evening...

  • Wow. I can feel my chest spasming just imagining that grease fest. Dirt burger? Grim.

  • I reckon I can keep it going a good hour or more!

    Fnarr!

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General Lucifer's Verbal Warning

Posted by Avatar for The_Seldom_Killer @The_Seldom_Killer

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