I hate

Thanks, feeling better now I've shared it

That's a bastard. Don't tell the scheme though, the correct treatment is to start taking from your net rather than gross pay as you can no longer cycle to work. Which is a bit of a piss take.

Whoa, I did not know that. Thanks for the headsup. That really would fuck me over good and proper

Is there a sink, if so, use your hand.

Then smear it on the taps.

The fact that most people's first reaction to a bomb blast or some other incident is to get their fucking phone out and film it.
Apparently Lee Rigby's attack was mentioned on Facebook, comparatively speaking, long before the police were informed.

The Queen At 90 on ITV1

^For some reason i'm picturing her madge being gunned down the fast lane at great rate of knots, headscarf flapping in the wind while Clarkson or some other cunt sit astride her stout back and shouts into the camera about how she handles at speed.

New top gear sounds mint.

Haha, the queen at 90 with guy martin

Let's 'ave a brew.

When seemingly normal people you know and think are cool suddenly start posting xenophobic memes all over Facebook. Share if you agree... Get in the fucking sea you cunts.

Yeah.I hate those people. They are nearly always fucking immigrants.

People that turn the egg timer right before leaving the sauna. Why?! You turn it, twat face and the next person cannot use it! Why are you so fucking stupid?

Just like the fuck flaps that involutarily press the button to cross the road
Then look up and just cross anyway. Thicko. Awesome: now traffic stops, burning extra fuel. ::Slow clap::

Oi! Shit head! I know how to work a lift. I was here before you. You can see the light is on. Why do you feel the need to lean across me to press the fucking button again? Tit!

^ are you stalking me..?

Pulling long hairs from nose, and on inspection, they're grey and thick as fuck.

Top rant. +rep

I try to press every button on the lift just as I'm leaving it. Can't help myself.

Also- contactless cards & Chip and pin. The point of it is swarthy shop workers don't need to touch your card, that's how it's more secure. I don't need you to do the contactless but for me.

Going to the loo for a crap, glancing at the remaining depleted roll and thinking "yep, easily enough left there."

1 Attachment

Fucking hell. Whilst posting that, I crapped some more.

Goddamit!

https://youtu.be/JofDuTmFpL8

^ you laugh. We had to do that in the army. One square tp ration per day. Dark times.

oh, another ex-serviceman... do you wear oakleys?

Hooray Henry's and their popped collars, chinos and driving shoes. You lot have done a great job exporting this stereotype across the globe. How the fuck is this look still a thing?