Any question answered...

Duolingo is a pretty effective app.

Thanks. Now I know some useful words for the next time I get my finger stuck in an otter.

It has been a long time since I have studied a language so I'm really not sure what works best for me or where to start. Maybe I just need to try something and see how it goes.

Something like...

Ich habe mein Finger in den Otter gesteckt.

But my grammatik is always bad.

The article is important, here are some words I never learnt the der die das for:

(edited with @Rodolfo 's help)

Das Fahrrad - bike
Das Rennrad - racebike
Der Lenker - handlebar
Die Bremse - brake
Die Handbremse - handbrake (levers)
Der Rahmen - frame
Die Rahmenhöhe - frame size (height)
Schnell - fast
Schneller - faster
Langsam - slow

Only spods learn the der die das stuff. Just say "duzh" under your breath any time you need to use it. Should cover most scenarios.

@Stonehedge If you're just learning for curiosity (which is no bad thing) you might find you get to a hard concept and then give up, because you've got no reason to keep going. Maybe try doing a GCSE evening course? That gives you something to work towards.

That's what I'd do.

also

http://www.dw.com/en/learn-german/s-2469

And Dict.cc is your best friend

Some more great German words:

in = in
Piss = piss
Nudeln = pasta, noodles
Hammer = hammer
Sprudelbleich = fizzy bleach ← @Oliver Schick is that right?

Reasons for my interest, in order of precedence.

• I spend three weeks a year in German speaking countries for skiing, climbing, hiking and football. It'd be nice to have basic conversational German nailed.
  
• I have lots of German speaking business contacts. If I discover that I enjoy learning the basics I'd like to spend the next few years developing my skills so I'd maybe be able to take advantage of various opportunities I may have with German speaking organisations.
  
• It is likely I will be living in a German speaking part of Switzerland for a period in a few years time.
  
  

I like the suggestion of doing a GCSE course to start with.

Vielleicht können sie "ich pisse in dein Nudeln" zu sprechen.

Definitely listen to the Deutsche Welle "warum nicht" series, download them all and do one a day if you can. They are tough because they take for granted basic knowledge, but it really helps with hearing what the words sound like.

That sounds like a really good idea then. If you like football there's obviously tonnes of German resources for that online. Once you have some confidence in conversations then it's obviously easier to pick up.

My father in law did a French GCSE then A-level in the evenings and he still goes to conversational classes.

The German name Wolfgang literally means "gang of wolves"

The German name Ludwig literally means "lewd wig"

The German name Otto literally means "hot toes"

Here's an article about Jurgen Klopp's idiosyncratic use of English

http://www.spiegel.de/sport/fussball/juergen-klopp-aergern-witze-ueber-sein-englisch-no-wish-concert-a-1076933.html

Oh also buy the book called "Denglish for better knowers"

Swiss German is as foreign a language to Germans as English.

I tried to improve my German when i lived in Zurich, but if I spoke in German to a Swiss they'd reply in English.

What chain oil/lube is best for my geared bike? I have that purple extreme stuff. I have just cleaned my bike and the chain seems dry. How much should I put on?

6ml

How much should I put on?

All of it. Everywhere. Pour it on. Try to get it all over the chainstay, cassette, rings - everywhere possible.

Your mechanic will thank you.

das
das
der
die
die
der
die
rest hast no article

the stuff with articles goes quite easy when you know the rules. german is actually a language in which the rules generally count. as i understand in my native language dutch its all so over the place people get very confused.

but you guyz only have one article. i understand your confusion.

i updated the og post with pics.

believe me, the ring go starr is indecipherable magic.

no instructions anywhere on the interwebz too.

no instructions anywhere on the interwebz

Unless you use a popular search engine using the search term "USE Ring-Go Star Instructions"
http://www.sjscycles.com/Instructions/USE/USE_Ring_Go_Star_A-Head_Adjuster_Instructions.pdf

i guess i searched for hope..;) thanks.

go back to start. try again.. will report back

So Yeh, a couple of litres then yeh ?

While turning the pedals (backwards if you run a freewheel or any direction if youre fixed), run a light bead of lube along the inner circumference of the chain - the side that will contact the chainring(s)/sprocket(s). Don't go overboard, just enough that will provide a fine coating once the drivetrain has cycled completely through. Over oiling is what will attract more crud more quickly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCbgwcTRNY

i always liked this video re chainlubing keirin style