Fucking terrible gifts for cyclists

@nathwilson22 wow was tcr that scary? I had heard some stuff about dogs re: Leo. Forgot to ask him more when he returned.

@nankatsu thanks for finding that. I actually think Richard's Bicycle Book as a whole does prove every rule has an exception.

I've been given TWO of those. And one of those shit 'recycled tyre'† belts.

† clearly not made from a recycled tyre, but a new, low quality, cheap tyre. Fucking bullshit.

Good thread. Stuff is rubbish.

Shit cheepo pound shop / Argos lights. I hate these things, they jus sit in a their bag. I've got nice lights I don't use them & people think they have been "thoughtful" by gettin me a useful bike thing.

HUMBUGGGGER !

I love dogs but I've been laughing at this for a good ten minutes now. Next time I'm down the park and a Jack Russell nips at my heels I'll be sure to pick it up and smash its brains out.

I'm not sure if it was life threatening, but being chased by a pack of dogs through the dark Albanian night doesn't sound like much fun!

@jimmy_james It was from
Richard Ballantyne's 'Bicycle Book'. We grew up with this book in the 70s, but I only noticed the passage on dogs recently.

Bike chain jewellery

Oi you can buy my bike chain jewellery and tree ornaments from my website http://www.buysomethingcyclerelatedforacyclistyouknow.ru

Motorcycle stuff is a common thing, usually harley stuff. Have more harley wallets, hipflasks and sundry shite I tried to sell it to a harley dealer. Either that or regift it to someone else.

i prefer it in yellow.

I had a velo-re belt for about 6years before it finally died. Worn 5 days a week on my work trousers under a harness. Was def a zaffiro, complete with skids through to the belt and nuff glass cuts all over it.
Guess standards have slipped or someone else is making them up from new tyres, which seems lame.
Made In England book is the only good bike pressie I've had, oh and a lidl winter jersey which is pretty useful. All the rest are long forgotten.

This year I would like the motivation to sort my shit out and actually go for a ride at the weekend..

I'm coughing laughing here. That is incredible.

I got given a car one year.

This actually looks good for any cross fans

https://cyclephotos.co.uk/product/20142015-cyclocross-book/?utm_source=Blog&utm_medium=Front%20Page&utm_campaign=Top%20Right%20Banner

I disagree with this, but maybe you haven't read the right books?

Max Leonard's book about the last man in the Tour de France, Lanterne Rouge, is great.

Personally I think Matt Rendell's book about Pantani is excellent, I also rate Richard Moore's Slaying the Badger. I found Will Fotheringham's books on Coppi and Tom Simpson interesting too and the Sean Yates autobiography (It's All About the Bike) a good read.

These are all books about pro cycling though. If you're not interested in reading about pro cycling it is much harder. Lost Lanes, Jack Thurston's book about nice places to ride in Southern England is good to dip into/for route inspiration. There must be others.

You might like Carlton Reid's book about how Roads Were Not Built for Cars, although I haven't read it myself yet. Maybe I'll put it on my Christmas list.

This year I would like the motivation to sort my shit out and actually go for a ride at the weekend

This :/

Also, the dozen odd unauthorised biographies of Bradley Wiggins, Lewis Hamilton or anyone else I've ever mentioned in passing conversation.

@Fox as ever your considered, Schickesque reasonableness has left me looking silly. At least I can hate Wigan just because Wigan when he's all reasonable.

You're right that Roads Were Not Built For Cars is actually right up my street (heh). I hear the ipad version is particularly well made.

Ditto Jack's bookywook things. I'm sure I'd love them.

Far too many books which feature photos of bearded men standing next to colourful "fixies". Hope my family don't think I'm into that.

I can recommend French Revolutions and Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Richard and Nicholas Crane was a good read too. I once got an Evans voucher from a girlfriend for some money towards a 'cool velodrome hat' which I never claimed, that was a good cycling present. Or at least a nice thought.

I got given one of these...

I had to explain to my Aunty that I am a rad brklzz fixed ninja, yeah.
Bitch.

Took me a minute to work out what that is.

Image broked

I think it was meant for Scoble, and the gift tags got mixed up.