Jokes / Joke du jour!

Si, si!

I call my wife 'her indoors' because she looks like Jim Morrison.

YES! Stolen.

mate's just come back from West Africa and now all he can do is buy raffle tickets.....

he's been diagnosed with tombola

Look what you done now.

outstanding. have a cupcake

Stolen..

Guess that's his fete...

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

"Aye matey!"

Posh Pirate! :oP

I taught my dog to fetch the other day,

Now i'm getting a lot of stick for it

Row, row, row boat, Gently down stream, Pain, anguish, rape, malnourish, Potato only dream.

^ he he he, love those Latvian gags

A young man is out walking when he's hit by a truck convoy. First he's run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow...
The family rush to the hospital, where the doctor turns to them:
"I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Dark humour is like food, not everybody gets it.

Mate's doing a medieval banquet, asked me to sort the staff out, been on Google for an hour but I keep getting Page Not Found.

Amazing.

RIP Keith Harris - the only bloke on the BBC ever to get away with fisting a young bird.. Other than Jimmy Savile.

Play 'Storage Wars' at home by opening your garage and cheering.

I stole this and put it on a,so called, 'professional technician' website. The amount of AmDram and Medieval Recreation links that were posted was amazeballs.

Sad news. Chef in our local bistro killed himself. He'd lost the huile d'olive.

Not jokes per se but two things my girlfriend's dad said today that made me chuckle.

'(James Bay playing) Who's this? Gareth Gates? Why isn't he in music anymore?'

'I thought it was cool to wear socks in sandals, "hipsterrrrr"'

Dear Sir or Madam

Please make your mind up.

Fukinel what the hell happened in here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdUNBxhIQvU&feature=youtu.be

#safe

Thanks, Mrs. Trellis.