For Sale: codswallop ( Charlie Z Harris - crazygill85@hotmail.co.uk ) defrauding people

I hope he makes a bad choice with a fart and soils himself

I hope he has to run for a bus, makes it, but spends the rest of the journey uncomfortably warm and out of breath sitting next to a girl who would otherwise have found him attractive

I hope he cuts his rear brake cable with a pair of slightly blunt wire cutters and it instantly frays to fuck.

hope eats one of the befamed "Pop Tarts"

I hope he tries to make him self poached eggs for breakfast but when he cracks the egg into the water it just spreads out into a big gloopy eggy mess and doesn't shape and form into that nice perfect poached egg shape.

I hope he gets a tattoo which he thinks means something deep in a Chinese script then later finds out it means 'I'm a scamming twat'.

I hope he gets a splinter underneath his fingernail

I hope he has his picture taken with his life long idol but doesn't safely remove his USB stick and it corrupts and he'll forever have the file but never be able to open it

a girl who would otherwise have found him attractive

Let's at least make an effort to keep it within the realms of basic plausibility, eh?

"Alright, darlin'? I've been in prison, me. For violent offences innit, know what I mean? Fancy a slap?"
\

I hope he watches a film, and tells people that he really likes it, only to find out that popular opinion is against him as it stars Danny Dyer, and he is embarrassed by his unfashionable views.

Pwoppa.

who the jolly fuck are those two double-Y chromo streaks of piss?

has the woman between them got a rabbit in her hand?

Nah,small crocodile head,the rest is up the sleeve,maybe she's closing in on him after realising she's been scammed and that's not actually Clint Eastwood's old hat.

There are alot of confessions in this thread

I hope he gets slated on an online forum for being Charlie Harris Fraudster C*nt only for there to be no posts for a week, lulling him into a false sense of security before there is a massive resurgence in the thread thus damning him to Google's first page forever...

I hope he gets up off his sofa to go upstairs to get something which he forgets when he's up there then goes back downstairs sits down and remembers!

i hope he rushes home really excited to watch the tour of a tuesday, turns on the tv sees athletics and realises it's rest day.

There are alot of confessions in this thread

I know. Really painful ones too.

I hope he is sunbathing whilst texting and holding the phone so it shields his eyes from the sun and he fumbles and drops it on his stupid face.

i hope he goatses himself and his mum walks in

There are alot of confessions in this thread

i hope he goatses himself and his mum walks in

Oh Apollo :-(

Easy mistake to make...

I hope he puts new brake cables on his bike and then realises that the rear cable is too short at the handlebars so when he's grinding up a mountain switchback it brings him to a sudden halt just at the tightest point of the turn.

I hope the blob of toothpaste falls of his toothbrush and he doesn't realise and puts it in his mouth with no toothpaste.

Then I hope he tries to blast the toothpaste from the sink but the water doesn't quite reach.

Then I hope he forgets to close the lid on the toothpaste and the next time he uses it it's gone all crusty.

I hope he finds a 70's jazz mag in his parents' loft, cracks on a six knuckle shuffle, only to come across 'Mrs Dinlo from Colchester' in Readers Wives, leading to decades of impotence in both bedroom and barn yard.

I hope he posts something that he thinks is really funny on an internet forum and keeps checking back for a reply, or a LOL or a rep, or just any sign that anyone out there has any interest in him and his joke at all.

But there is none.

Hey you hoped this for me.