For Sale: codswallop ( Charlie Z Harris - crazygill85@hotmail.co.uk ) defrauding people

I hope he misses his mouth with his next gulp of that pint

http://youtu.be/9eP2_Fk2R84?t=50s

I hopethe next time he stands next to the girl he fancies he accidentally sneezes on her and she freaks out just a little, the two of them will remain friends but his sister will always think of that spittle on her cheek and never let him insert his shriveled penis inside if her, much to his disappointment.

I hope he is sunbathing whilst texting and holding the phone so it shields his eyes from the sun and he fumbles and drops it on his stupid face.

Did this lying in bed... Unfortunately I was on my iPad.
Ouch

I hope his boiler has no pressure and he needs to wash himself with counted drops.

I hope his dog bites off all his furniture's corners and edges

I hope he pushes the door when the sign says "pull"

I hope he forgot his car's lights on tonight

I live in hope.

I hope he pushes the door when the sign says "pull"

Reeeep

I hope he steps in what he thinks is only a small puddle of water but turns out to be a deceiving pot hole which soaks his entire foot.

I hope he runs out of shower gel AND toothpaste at the same time.

I hope every time he tries to pump up his tyres, the removable core on the tube comes loose and instantly deflates the tyre as he removes the pump making his have to pump it again. This continues ad infinitum.

I hope henceforth every apple he ever bites in to is slightly disappointing.

I hope he gets a job as a police fraud researcher and has to wade through this whole thread whilst trying to find evidence.

Oh.

Ooops

I hope in a rush to leave for work he uses moisturiser on his hair instead of gel but has no time to stop and change it.

i hope he forgets to put money on his oyster card and tries to get on a cashless bus late at night and the bus driver doesn't even say no, he just slowly shakes his head and taps on the oyster reader

i hope he sets out for a long journey and the headphone jack on his phone is slightly worn and the music keeps on cutting out and he keeps trying to turn it or adjust it and sometimes a bit of sound comes back but by the time he has put his phone back down it has gone again and he has to sit on a train with no music and its really rubbish.

I hope he pours his cornflakes before realizing there is no milk in the fridge.

I hope he is just about to sneeze and then inexplicably it dies away leaving him wholly unsatisfied.

I hope he has to have Picolax for two days straight

I hope he gets bitten by mosquitoes and then spends all day itching them and inadvertently scratches too close and scratches over it, causing it to bleed.

I hope his neighbor's child starts to learn the violin.

I hope his neighbor's child starts to learn the violin.

And that their little sister starts to learn the recorder at the same time.

I hope he forgets to close his curtains before getting into bed.