Chat about Novel Coronavirus - 2019-nCoV - COVID-19

Awh thats sweet though.

But don't worry children will be able to be socially distant at schools... eye roll.

Referencing the pissing and shitting in public thing search 'London Fields' or 'Broadway Market' on Twitter for an entertaining evening. Every weekend it becomes a massive argument between people who live there taking pictures of people pissing and shitting in bushes and on their doorstep and then visitors to the area saying that it's the fault of the council for not having better facilities. That and videos of the DJs and that who keep turning up to entertain the crowd.

my friends

show off

It was quite sweet. When she let go of my legs she pointed at my beard, which I don't think she'd seen before except on Zoom, and said 'What's that?' in a slightly horrified tone. Then when I let her in the house so she could go to the loo, she walked in shook her head, and said 'Messy. So messy', which is harsh but fair. They don't hold back, 3 year olds.

More than 1 and less than 3.

We've got a Greek island holiday booked for July for a wedding that is now cancelled.

Were we going to the same wedding?

I hope your second contact was a flying karate chop to the gammon's throat?

"Well you see, officer, the reason I caved his head in with this pedal spanner was because I was avoiding physical contact whilst also defending myself".

Is it on Rhodes?

You seen they just extended the ban until the 15th?

I was looking at the UK news but didn't see that. Thanks.

Looks like my trip's cancelled then. Just spent £100 on a train ticket this morning. Brilliant.

How the fuck am I meant to plan anything? You can't expect people to organise holidays with a few days' notice. Or open your bar/shop/office/whatever.

Omnishambles

I'm enjoying these 'first human contact outside of your household' posts.

Some guy on the allotment came over to chat to me and after about half an hour of listening to the details of his prostrate problems he approached me to say see you later with his elbow jutting out.

I resisted that, as tempting as it was at the time. Popo weren't interested... I reported it as a street party with reference to the pushing taking place, but didn't make a specific assault report, which with hindsight I could have made the main focus. Bike camera would have been useful.

1. Make optimistic promises at short notice to try and make people happy
   
2. Make the businesses unhappy, as they either have to scramble to reopen with no guidance or hold off and risk losing both government support and customer loyalty
   
3. Roll back the promises, making a lot of punters unhappy
   
4. Do something pointless as a distraction
   
5. Go to step 1
   

I can see that...

Pub is Lyf. Lyf is pub.

How the fuck am I meant to plan anything?

I don't think you really can at the moment. Planning requires predictability, which is in short supply at the moment. I'm just taking things one day at a time, to use that well-worn hoary old cliché.

Somebody I know put down £25k non returnable deposit on a villa in Ibiza for his 40th this coming September. He did that a year ago.

I remember sitting with him in a pub last summer and discussing whether it was crazy to do that so far in advance. We discussed all sorts of possible eventualities. Up to an including the outbreak of war or the death of either him or his wife. We decided that war was unlikely and that if either of them died we'd just turn it into a memorial party.

What's the worst that could happen we laughingly asked?

Turns out the answer was a global pandemic.

Non returnable, but insurable surely?

Probably insurable. Also hopefully will actually happen. Just found it amusing how we thought it was set in stone and nothing could get in the way of it!

Fingers crossed it all goes well.

I was thinking just the same thing this morning, one of my best friends got married in Florence a year ago today in a villa wedding package he’d paid ££££ for the year before. He’s currently in hospital recovering from major heart surgery, hopefully out in a month, only found out he needed the op a month ago. Moral of the story, I’m not sure, maybe pack as much into life as you can while you can.

Was he buying the villa for that money?

In Ibiza? Fuck no.

What does a £25k deposit in Ibiza get you?

15 pills and a 3 grammes of coke.

Yeah, and how much do people get who don't allow themselves to be ripped off like that? :)