Housemate problems - what do I do?

I no but it made my whole house unusable throught its selfish contempt and I had to respond in kind.

In retrospect yeah maybe a bit harsh killing its whole family but look at it from my perspective yeah? I was still upset from the garlic bread and you know what the bible says about throwing the first seasoned baked savoury goods.

In future I will try to behave with more restrainy but any more crows come round my ends starting shit and I'm catapulting flaming shit at their homes

Just hammer frozen worms into their sausages.

In retrospect yeah maybe a bit harsh killing its whole family

They are birds, they can fly away?

I'm pretty sure if you do that the entire street will post about you in the bastard neighbours thread.

Pretty sure that when they see the incriminating, heinous photographic evidence of the garlic bread that was vindictively placed on my lawn by these errant Corvis they will understand why such measures had to be taken.

We've already seen upthread what spite can be read into a mere naan bread attack, so given the extra barbaric nature of assault with a garlic infused bread I think I'm on pretty safe ground here.

errant Corvis

Corvids (English vernacular from the Latin taxonomical family name corvidae) or corbies, the Scots dialect for crows or ravens.

Parklife.....

I think more people are upset about the spilt milk to the right of the budwiser bottles. They just haven't posted as they are too busy crying over spilt milk.

Different sort of milk.

I guess, nobody is going to cry over goats milk.

You, my little Fauntleroy

Best bit

I thank the OP for making the perfect entertainment and a real first world problem.

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You could be right-I just assumed that the white stains are the salty resodue left by the OP's tears on looking over the trail of wanton destruction left by that wild orgy of one case of Bud, a Lidl prosecco and some branded Merlot.

Invite the members of this forum to your place for a party and you will know mess.

From what i have seen in other threads that mess would involve lots of shit in strange places, possibly some with gold flakes in it.
Not including puking and general party hi-jinks, i suspect the rental deposit would be at serious risk.

I had about 20 forumengers around to my flat for a party once. I went to sleep at about 3am, before everybody left. When I woke up, somebody had cleaned up. I think it was @6pt

2 bags of tins by the door and a toilet that was suspiciously clean...as if it had been covered in puke not long before.

Nominating this as comment of the year, 2017...

10/10

What a fantastic read.

At uni, (many years ago) a guy in our house used to spit greenies on the ceiling, so thick they'd just freeze there. In suspended animation. He also burnt some barbie dolls and hung them from the ceiling. And injected horse steroids.

Another guy shit in the bog, in FULL KNOWLEDGE that the bog was broke and wouldn't flush. He denied it was him, making us all think it was the one girl who lived with us. Then watched and laughed as me and the other lad evacuated the massive turd using tore up cereal boxes. Bastard.

And I once puked up a perfect circle of vomit. It was amazing. Then I vacuumed it up with our only vacuum cleaner. Rendering it unusable forever more, cos it reeked so bad.

PS - Just get a professional cleaner, send him the invoice.

We used to move all the furniture out into the garden when it was party time. Less cleaning up to do indoors.

Also one of my housemates went mental and threatened me and my mate with a huge pistol. He came out of his room in some dirty boxers and a leather jacket, telling us "to calm the fuck down" before going outside to fire a few merry shots into the air. The day after he left for good and the day after that police raided our house with dogs and everything. Found lots of guns & coke in his room.

Fun times! Can't compare to naan bread on the lawn obvs but still.

has the naan situation escalated any further yet, or have keema heads prevailed?

This thread was meant to curry favour from forum members.

I’m going with yoghurt.

These absolute hooligans whipped up a home made cucumber and mint riata.

Ban this filth!

Pathia on the back from me for staying calm through this.

This sort of booze drinking madness makes me sad and bored. Guess you could call it beery-ennui. (Biryani?)

It’s amazing how far a man-go to piss someone off.

Take care dahl.