Sell my Crabon, build a steel road bike.

Clamping the top tube.......oh for shame.

This is my first time and I'm learning by doing, ok?

No worries. The good thing is all these parts have bolts which you can undo. Try a little more like this:

The bar angle in this picture is still a tad extreme in my opinion. Try pointing the bar ends to the rear brake caliper, and position the hoods as above. So in your case: tilt the bars back down a little and put the shifters further up the bend of the bars. Look at them from the side from a distance to see if it's right.

Yeah right.

This is all very dispiriting.

Under no circumstances listen to me about mechanicing. But rotate the bars till the drops are in line parallel with the top tube.

Have you got trolls under your window?

Yes. I nail them to the front wall. Everyone needs a hobby.

The entire cockpit thing is obviously beyond me.

In summary then, I need to rotate the bars and move the hoods, which will mean retaping the cables and then re-tensioning them as well I suspect.

Given that the left shifter is almost definitely going to have to come off to get fixed, I shall wait until that issue is resolved.

Black bartape would work

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How about this set up yellow cables .and cockpit done perfect.

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You're learning the hard way that taping the cables is the penultimate step, with taping the bars the last one. Get it all cabled up and working, then ride around the block and adjust the bar and lever positions until you're happy with them. Most of us ham-fisted home mechanics learnt the same lesson as you.

@Tijs is correct to say that aiming the end of the bar at the rear brake caliper is a good place to start. But there is no right or wrong, aim to get something you're comfortable with.

Thanks @andyp I appreciate it!

I am envious of your ability to carve out time for yourself to do this.

Any better?

And, yes I know that the rear section of the rear brake cable is too short. It should loop more. I fucked that up.

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I am envious of your ability to carve out time for yourself to do this.

I'm basically ignoring my children. They think that Andy from CBeebies is their dad.

Never a truer word spoken. You learn those lesson the hard way. Before web tutorials. Many years ago I rode with the left lever an inch lower than the right just because I couldn't handle having to redo all the hard work.

On that subject, is there a way of guaranteeing a level lever setup using household objects (and possibly a spirit level)?

Any better?

Looking good buddy!

I use a spirit level that rests between the hoods. There is probably a better way but it works for me.

Put the bars on a flat surface.

Can someone enlighten me as to why clamping the top tube is a no-no? It seems the obvious method to me...

@mashton I always get cables wrong somehow. The fly in the ointment.

Each half of the bike acts as a big lever. High potential of damage around the clamping area as you shuffle around. I always clamp on the seatpost.

^that. And the damage caused by overtightening.

There are all the nice Nitto stems and bars cheap on planetx right now.

Go get something lovely.

https://www.planetx.co.uk/brand/q/nitto