Gravel / Gravé / Gnarmac / Groad / ATB

What sort of cadence are we talking?

I can probably manage maybe 10 full swings every minute,

Is that a full rotation of both left and right swings? Or just individual swings?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I am at the top of the Strava segments in my part of town, and I’ve been involved in numerous crits, and I have over 300 KOMs.

I am trained in interval sprinting and I’m the top climber in the entire US bicycling subreddit. You are nothing to me but just another Fred. I will wipe you the fuck out with my quads the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am doing a 200k gravel ride and your Strava account is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, on any bike and I can out-sprint you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my commuter bike.

Not only am I extensively trained in descending dusty gravel single track, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Cycling Federation and I will use it to its full extent to sprint your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will cycle fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

This thread is useless without...

As you're apparently hard of reading.

Bitch please.
You must have a smaller dick than me, or not get tired of waving it.
There is a local park I like to take my bike to, I often get my dick out and let the big dick energy radiate slowly as I wave it from left to right letting all the people bask in its glory.
I can probably manage maybe 10 full swings every minute, that's with an 87 degree slope with a gradient of about 25%.

Arlen? Is that you?

Yeah you said already. But if its over on the left and you swing it to the right...
Is that a full swing or a half?

I seen you on Grindr though, leaving your fingerprints all over my account.

Like a pendulum on a grandfather clock, and I mean GRANDfather cock (dyswid?), it's from one side to the other and back again. That's not an inconsiderable mass I'm moving through the air there.

its weird that I also read it as a 'white male' .. I know nothing to do with ethnicity or gender but I just cant see anyone else saying/writing that, is satire dead?

Grindr / Gravel / Gravé / Gnarmac / Groad Bikes

I bikepack in an asymetric manner to counter the torque-steer of my dick swing.

This is what cycling off-road reduces us to ;-)

..... basically pinkbike

I bikepack in an asymetric manner to counter the torque-steer of my dick swing.

Need a dropper post to allow maximum unencumbered swingage.

considered a fairing? #aerocock

bravo, never seen the cycling one of this meme before

moar bieks, less genitalcopterings

Lols

Slow day?

My poor man's do-everything-slow-and-ugly thingy is finished, would just like some flared drops really

First is 2x with 700c and DT shifter, second is 1x with 650b. Bars have been levelled better and pedals changed, can't remember why I had them like that but it was a good reason...

Bricks... I'd expect scoblestones instead, given the local architecture! How's it ride? Looks great.

Ha, I was sat out on the Meadows just now (in a t-shirt, at 11PM!) - if I'd been a bit quicker off the mark I could have found somewhere nicer to take the picture, but it's too dark now. Left it a bit late with that first picture as well by the looks of it.

I really like how it rides. It's a full blown tourer at heart, obviously, but some of those geometry choices translate well for gravelly stuff - it's got a nice small turning circle (unladen) which is good for rocky stuff, it's stable on downhills and with gear, for some reason they gave it ~60mm BB drop which gives decent clearance on the cranks, and I'm pretty confident it can handle anything that I'm able to ride due to the massive sturdy tubes (the downtube is enormous), and so on.

But the downside of it being a tourer is that it weighs a ton and it's super slow - it's about 1-2 minutes slower full pelt round Arthur's Seat compared to the cheapo aluminium road bike it replaced. But never mind, I've no interest in racing for now and in a year or two I'll probably get myself a fancy carbon road thing when I get a real job.

My other complaints are that I'm not enamoured with the downtube front shifter, which is surprising as I've loved them on other bikes, and that my 650b wheelset is porky and doesn't spin nicely. The DT shifter hasn't really had a proper test ride yet though, so I'll see how I feel after the weekend

Edit: actually now I think about it I think it was your thread that inspired the DT front/brifter rear!

Edit: soz for essay

Good stuff. Downtube shifters 4lyfe... both sides tho! I have a road bike with 'brifters' too but when I ride it and get fatigued I find myself clawing ineffectually at the downtube...