pro cycling reportage at it's most dubious

Guten Morgen. Wir haben neue Berichten für die müden Augen.

Oh and i fixed the scrolling thing. Woop.

Google analytics tells me I'm getting site visitors based in Aigle, Switzerland, seat of the UCI.

Avid fans of Ocelot Gruber or spurious lawsuit in the offing?

Some feedback from work colleagues:

Northern slacker type-occasional rider, bike porn merchant: "Le Plaque Superieure is just about the funniest thing on the internet at the moment"

Italian uber-serious cyclist fella: "Hehehehe me too! Because this guy is a genius. Best cycling blog I have ever read"

Aww. Wee ego microboner going on right now. Thx 8==>

Given Spartacus's recent wetlipping about temperature, I'm surprised he hasn't been at the receiving end of some PS ribaldry. Particularly after his 'wet cobbles, not fair, too dangerous' witterings at the TdF. Goldilocks seems more appropriate than Spartacus.

Ocelot, I've heard rumours that Tinkoff Saxo ice bucket challenge was edited to remove Bjarne running into the shot shouting "which fridge did you get that fucking ice from you stupid cunts"

Ocelot's just in shock about that rider winning today...

Froome: Father Was Fainting Goat-Plaquesuperieure.cc exclusive

KNEES FIRST TO 'GO VOIGTAL'-RUSHDIE UNIMPRESSED

Gruber's nasal-science-special has to happen after Froome's use of the Turbine this race.

'Kenyan satyr' - amazing.

Froome's New Sponsorship Deals-Ocelot Gruber Reports

Quintana declines, Fabian whines-read all about in on plaquesuperieure.cc...

Great reads... So ocelot's moving into component reviews as well now, although after reading about the KMC chain, I can't help but think... Doingitwrong ;)

Ocelot has various connecting devices and thinks this one may be faulty as fuck the almighty, getting it off is harder than seducing a depressed Panda.

As the absence of fingerprints on both thums and the despairing decision to just break the chain suggests.

Sick of helmet cam faffery? New helmet mounted safety device on sale!

"His Royal Fabsness Cancellara"

lol

The fact there are tools made for both connecting and disconnecting the shitty things suggests there is no doingitright.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEHrWId8kvg

I've got a mild but developing phobia of bicycle chains.

#stickydrivetrain

Haha, no way! So by making a tool to deal with the things, KMC are surely just admitting that their power links are shit. Didn't know that, only used SRAM ones which are silky smooth to do (mostly).

[rovny calls brambilla 'terrorist'annexes opqs team bus-plaquesuperieure exclusif!](rovny calls brambilla 'terrorist'annexes opqs team bus-plaquesuperieure exclusif!)

was there no scandal at all surrounding the world tt championships held in the states recently

no expose of certain world champion showing his junk while drunk getting out of a limo in las vegas

is the author in hibernation ?

the author is indeed in some kind of hinterland of being forced to do functional, productive things, as well as being sexually exploited by a veritable amazon at her behest both night and day so I fear my maniacal cycling commentary has faded to nothing. I need to sort it out really.

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It's alive