Random Text Messages

I once had a very persistent man from Yorkshire calling me to Tarmac his drive... I told him twice I didn't think he'd want me to do it, as I wasn't a Tarmac expert, or indeed in Yorkshire. He left me 9 messages in a day. Maybe I just should have done it anyway...

Just shit on his bonnet and leave a note saying you told him it wasn't a good idea...

My old work mobile number clearly used to belong to a Natwest business banking account manager. I used to receive numerous calls from people asking about loans and overdrafts. Sometimes people just wouldn't listen when I told them that they had the wrong number and continued to put forward their case for borrowing money...

Someone who I apparently bought weed from once before texts me regularly to inform me that he's "back on fat bags", or he's "got the real cheez in". I'm not sure what the opt out procedure is for drug dealer tele-marketing. The number keeps changing so I have no idea which one of my past dealers it is, or even which city he's from.

From an old school pal who has recently started selling bugle.

Haven't spoken to him in years...you never know though.

From an old school pal who has recently started selling bugle.

Haven't spoken to him in years...you never know though.

Send him back a picture of you in a Police Uniform...

I've only this one

I once got a text message from Anna Mirales (commissioning editor of Channel 4 at the time) to apologise for being late for the meeting about dogging.

I presume she was after Snotty's number.

That's where she went, she missed a good "meeting".

this is bangin
Resonators "Soldier" - YouTube

I've only this one

Well you might get some product for free then...

My home phone number is the last two digits reversed from the local doctors surgery....I get regular calls for appointments, which I am normally very polite about and always tell them that they have the wrong number.....normally.
There was one particular chap, who must have saved my number into his phone, instead of the correct one, who never believed me when I told him he was not talking to the receptionist ( although I do give good phone ), so I used to squeeze him in at the drop of a hat.......he hasn't rang for a while though.