Rap battle thread.

forget this talk about a compass beer,
you need to come on the no beer fixed gear!

I'm comin to you live outta Potters Bar
I don't ride fixed cos I mainly drive a car
There's no scene round my way so
I'll stick to my Volvo
It's great for going to
B&Q

riding and no drinking? shit's got me thinking
if you don't respect beer, what the hell you doing here?

Earlier post that I regret,
Editted now, apologies to all I upset.

Stop pandering on your slandering.

even playas hate me but those suckas gotta Stop
smoking crack and relax
cause you know i rock tha Mic
filthy ass lyrics but you know my style real Niiice Niiice
I said it twice
Slide through with the quickness
watch me Rip this
with the Sikness
Skrtluv on the Mic cause im dope and
you can try but why? you can't cope man
with a style that i choose to
flippin scripts from the old to the new school
and i'm cute too
dropping rhymes that you'll never forget like
"Ohh naww he Di'innt"
Hell yeah i DiD
Bold on da mic like a Dyke fighting Fat Kids
It's like a sickness, i got to have iT
Tricks are for kids
I run Game silly Rabbits
So make it quick when im coming round the block
Skrtluv bucks shots with real HipHop

Shit's out of hand like a thrown arse-grape,
Where's MC Tester to adjudicate?

I want to smell tough and I want to smell hard
But I'm wearing Dove cause they ran out of Right Guard.

As a matter of fact Dove's my deodorant of choice,
Sprayed over my knackers it makes them all moist.

I think Skrtluv is cuttin and pastin
I ain't gonna check though cos that's time wastin
I lay down beats but they ain't block rockin
My metre and verse is shockin
That last line was a fine example
It needed something more, maybe another syllable

your Dove stylings are righteous Theory, some might say gangster
you never sprayed a testicle that didn't deserve it
and I'm down with the cowboy wash myself like
but I've gone off tangent....something something On One Langster.....

don't be up in here droppin names like OOL
It's not cool you fool get back to school

What? This a battle we meant to be dissing eath other..
Eighball yo, I've just rolled off your mother.
Alkali, your bikes are shit, as anti as they come,
TheorySwine,my thumb be in yo dads bum.

#sorry.

That oddly capped Dyke line
Made me want to wet the bed.
Why are homophobic slurs fine
But mocking disabled gets you bann-ed?

I can see this one running and running - lyrical cunning, forum punning
add tags mr moderator and we be humming
Hippy merging spammering
Pisti still on a bannering

Itsaboutthebike, my bikes are indeed shit
I'd respond more abusively but I might get hit
By your mum, 'cos she's heard what I'm saying
I thought it was your dad but it's your mum what I was layin'

Oh Jeez, puhleez.
Keep givin that knob a gobble
Your rappin is like you momma
Stunted, ugly, prone to wobble.

Snotty you say you is grotty
Your lyrics is too
My ears be hearing them all haughty
Like a nose smelling poo

Salmonchild your words like your handle
Fishy, soaked in water that got fucked in too
As cool as a crocs wearing vandal
Or a shit painted blue

I'll hunt down Itisaboutthebike and unleash my Glock,
Inserted barrel deep inside his limp cock.
When rapping my mind thinks only of testicles,
All my life I've loved the bouncy and spherical.

I just went to go view a house,
Met with my kid and my motherfucking spouse,
It was quite nice and to it we may move
but while I was out this thread lost it's groove.
Just 'cause this place is for battles of rap
don't mean we're down
with the usual homophobic crap.
I can call you a cunt or dick but not a queer,
That gay bashing shit just doesn't cut it here.
So fucking steer clear.

swine don't like the 'gina
all about the mad man-tackle-two
Big bouncy bollock desire-er
No time for fishy pockets, fannies, ass, or poo.

It don't stop... it don't quit
Let's wrap it up 'cause im tired of reading
pointless ishT
that made me laugh 'bout the kids 'n wife
home shopping bit
don't make me madd cause i'll start to write some hurtful ishT
always tryn to test the fresh and who's best?
I don't give a Fu cause im comin out the West
It's like chess
I digress
Its a shame how y'all running game
spitting out words, it's all the same thang
my lyrics are mastered and not tamed
if you ask me again imma say the same thing
and change
Some call me deranged,
i call it crazzy
and it just may be
.... so why you wanna?Playa.Hate.On.Me?

@ the whole thread

look out eminem

Look out Poochie.

http://vimeo.com/80231685#t=27s

There was a time 'fore I found LuFGuSS
Used to use another forum but they made a fuss
When I said rude words like 'Willy' or 'Bum'
Moderators there must have thought it was fun
To censor me, can you hear what I'm sayin'?
You couldn't on Mumsnet, they were all bayin'
For my blood, which is well ironical
The ladies on there must have had a monocle
With a powerful lens to examine my writing
Always getting banned, and loads of fighting
They're a tedious lot, the mums of Mumsnet
even if I posted recipes they'd get wet
They'd moisten, if they saw my name
No boys allowed! Mumsnet, it's a shame.

If all this thread
Is going to be
Rubbish rhyming couplets,
I'm out again and unsubscribed
Before you can say 'muppets'.

A man on this forum up there ^, you see
A demanding German fellow
A stickler for language and it's correct use
We've not met, but I say 'Hello'

I wrote this little rhyme for you Schick
I hope I got it right
T'was supposed to be iambic pentameter
But that is a fright...

Fully difficult thing to get right first time
I haven't practised this
It's been a while and I'm rusty as hell
Rap and rhyming is not my business

Maybe this thread could evolve into
something more than just couplets
What am I thinking, there's no chance of that
We're a bunch of cycling fuckwits