The Cat Thread

I'm with Ed. bit of a chat with Mr Barry.

Yeah it's not right of him to be letting your cat in (and probably feeding him)

I asked one of my neighbours not to feed Gomez because he was starting to look a bit fat, she has a kitten kennel in her front yard especially for him, he's usually sat there when I get home from work.

nail the venal little shits paw to the floor and do a poo on Mr Barry's bonnet.

House looked like a cat rescue home with a bulk buy of cat food and litter which all arrived last night. Should keep the highness happy for a few months.

No cycling gear this month.

Just about to go and find out how much the final bill for Fabrics surgery is. Closer to £300 is good. Closer to £800 is bad.

All I know is that he is doing fine and has had "a few" teeth removed.

Closest guess wins a tin of Fabric's favourite tuna.

£549

ok i'll bite. why is your cat named after a crap early noughties night club, and does he know?

I spent way too much time in that place. His name is in homage to my poor taste in nightlife.

You know you are getting old when you have a cat named after your old favourite club.

as i say everyday to wee 700.

I spent way too much time in that place. His name is in homage to my poor taste in nightlife.

You know you are getting old when you have a cat named after your old favourite club.

In that case I would have to pick one out of club 414, camden palace and george IV...

Tell Mr.Barry to gtfo. Never allow other people's pets into your house. Petting outside is fine but a line needs to be drawn.

He was originally going to be called Super Bastard so he had a lucky escape.

Just got him back from the vets. His eyes are like saucers and he has a few funny bald spots where he was shaved for canulars etc. Unfortunately the vet wouldn't let me have any ket.

Bill was on the lower end of the spectrum...£445. Still a lot of money though.

Dammit...Barry should get fucked. Ask him politely and see what he says.

I have asked him to stop, he said "well we all like James, and it doesn't seem fair to keep him out".

I'm a bit torn between my natural British reticence and saying what I think.

Be more British, but BNP British.

Or offer him ownership of James: get the chip changed, so Barry can pay his insurance, his food, flea treatment and worming.

Tell him your cat is diabetic and that he'll die if you aren't able to accurately control his diet.

buy a tarantula called dave. see how he takes to that.

greenhell has the right idea. maybe* buy an x-box and loads of sweets and give barry's kids a door key, then he'll see what it's like to have something you pay for and love spend all of it's time with someone else.

also tell barry he's a cunt. I'd be livid if someone stole my cat.

*by maybe i mean don't (operation yewtree)

Offer James a mild laxative.

Fit a small speaker to James that plays a godawful noise at unacceptable volumes that somehow won't affect him but only Mr Barry

Does he wear a collar? Fit one of the GPS cat cams.

Ask Mr Barry if he can follow the logic that it's a bit shit that you pay for everything yet he is spending all the time with the cat.

Give him Celia Hammonds number and make him get his own cat. Then see how your James likes going over there.

I have asked him to stop, he said "well we all like James, and it doesn't seem fair to keep him out".

Doesn't seem fair to whom?

keep him out how? You have a catflap? So James can come in and out as he pleases, no? My Barry sounds like a typical cheapskate who wants the fun but not the responsibilites. But it is a tricky situation... do you want to give up James? It doesn't sound like you do.

And don't be British, I can lend you my Chinese manners if you like, I have no problem telling people to do one when I know I am in the right. I would be very angry if someone does this to Patch when I am paying for everything and a freeloader gets all the fun. Tell him to fuck off.