The Cat Thread

Our cat used to scratch at the doors. Now we just leave them open. He comes in to the bedroom a few times a night and buzzes around my face, sleeps for ten minutes then gets bored and fucks-off downstairs again.
This is routine.

You're going to love being a parent one day Sparky.

My old cat used to scratch and miaow at my door all night, so in the end I caved in and let him sleep on my bed. Then he decided that he didn't want to sleep in a curled up ball anymore and would stretch out as big as possible (he was a very large cat) so that I would have to sleep curled up by my pillows. Then he gradually moved his sleeping position further towards the top of the bed so on occasion I would think about moving to the sofa. I think what I'm saying is that cats are dicks and that you shouldn't let them win as it's a slippery slope. Man I miss that cat.

Cat flap?

He can't go outside. Plus I don't think he wants to. In all his years he's only ever tried to leave the front door once or twice, and he only gets a few feet before freaking out and zooming back in. I think the scratching is just designed to piss me off.

I once had a similar problem in a London bedsit between flats. Except that instead of scratching at a door it was attacking my toes or sitting on my face.

First solution was sleeping in boots and a full face motorcycle lid - not good.

Second solution was hold cat under tap until thoroughly soaked, then turn on a one-bar electric fire for the little fucker to dry out in front of. Used to gain me about a four hour sleep window.

I think its just bored, and boredom = mischief. Check your local council estate for details.

Has it got toys to play with? Balls of wool? Has it got a clean box to go shit in? Can it operate Sky+?

They are also jealous creatures. Cats rule when it comes to sleep. Top sleep privileges are reserved for the king of the jungle, and I think you're being reminded this isn't you.

No offence, but you are upsetting the natural order of things, are stepping way out of line buster, and are being punished. This shit could get ugly, I'd advise you to check the contents of those new Chrimbo slippers before your next jaunt across the flat.

Toys? My nice, clean flat has slowly been turned over to him. You can barely step on the floor without hitting a ping-pong ball, toy mouse, discarded cat biscuit...

Jealousy is possible. When there's one person in the house he tends to get a lot of attention. Less so when we're both there. I'm also probably intruding on his turf a bit, even though he's in my flat...

He's usually fastidiously clean but a couple of weeks ago I did find a dirty protest on the hallway floor. He's never done that before in his life. But to be fair to the lad, he looked as surprised as I did and my tone of voice made it clear that this isn't how we do things in my place.

Escalate the dirty protest, shit on his bed in return.

Have you tried playing with it for 15 mins before bed time? Maybe tiring it out could work but also give it that stimulation. I know if dogs don't get walks, they tend to misbehave. Maybe indoor cats have the same issues.

Have you tried playing with it for 15 mins before bed time? Maybe tiring it out could work but also give it that stimulation. I know if dogs don't get walks, they tend to misbehave. Maybe indoor cats have the same issues.

I have. But his appetite for grabbing at a bit of string is insatiable.

I'm just thankful that, after a Christmas spent with the little monster, I don't have to deal with my parents cat too often. Mewing and purring are beyond him, instead he bellows 'ROWGH!' (Johnny Rau, anybody?). It's just his version of a normal cat's mew, but fuck me is it tedious.

Well I think you're fecked as all the indoor house cats I've ever met have been totally batshit crazy. They're a bit Marty Feldman with faraway eyes looking in different directions, like they've seen things, you know, like back in 'Nam man.

I could'nt sleep in the house knowing they were there, repeatedly stripping and reassembling their glock and carving messages in the bannisters with a combat knife. You have a fully trained and operational Treadstone agent on the premises who could go rogue at any second. We don't want another Jason Bourne on our hands. Run, save yourself, don't look back.

Give this stuff a go, http://www.feliway.com/uk/ it's like prozac for cats. We've used it when we had a couple adopted house cats that had similar and even worse behavioral problems. It did seem to chill them out.

2nd on the feliway!! it's amazing stuff

And should feliway not work, you can go try homeopathy, acupuncture, magnets or voodoo.

Don't mock, there is an app for taking pictures of your cat and sharing them. All idiots love pictures of cats, it's one of the laws of the interwebz.

It's like some kind of cunts paradise.

http://m.feliway.com/uk/Happy-together/AppyTogether

I thought the same about feliway, my cat was very traumatised when she arrived at my place, plug that shit in, boom, she's mellow. And catnip doesn't seem to work on her, but it looks like a big old bag of weed in my cupboard.

Don't mock, there is an app for taking pictures of your cat and sharing them. All idiots love pictures of cats, it's one of the laws of the interwebz.

It's like some kind of cunts paradise.

http://m.feliway.com/uk/Happy-together/AppyTogether

Haha, I like the screenshots of what you can do when you've taken a picture of your cat - why not send an email with the subject heading "I just took a picture of my cat!"...

I'd leave some cat gut guitar strings about, that might mark it's card

What you said make perfect sense. As long as fatty doesn't stay fat when it gets warmer, I don't have a problem with her stuffing her face now. Another thing in. Are noticed is she has been showing a particular interest in raw meat which she didn't really bother with it before... I don't think this is weather related though.

Attach a sheet of catering foil (such as you would wrap the turkey with) to the area that the cat scratches, then report back.

This stopped James from scratching one of our doors.

Dancing James?