the excuses thread also known as the bedwetting thread

I'm leaving the country.

it's my rest day

There is blood in my sick.

i never make excuses...

Apart from "it's too wet to ride my super bike"?

There's sick in my blood.

I usually go for the truth:

'I can't be arsed.'

"I've only got my commuting bike with me today, with its dynohub and fat tyres and mudguards, and I'll have my usual clobber with me so I'd only slow you guys down. And I'm middle-aged and unfit."

Has sometimes been translated as:

"Oh to hell with it, I hardly get to go out on any rides, so what does it matter if I am the slowest, forcing the other riders to go at 2/3 of their preferred pace and wait for me at the top of every hill. Serves the buggers right for having fancy bikes made of soot and elf-spoo and fitted with fancy variable transmission and wafer-thin tyres made of the skin of an Eritrean weasel."

fancy bikes made of soot and elf-spoo and fitted with fancy variable transmission and wafer-thin tyres made of the skin of an Eritrean weasel.

very good description of TNRC

mid range fixies with a front brake and bog standard training tyres

More like it...

...used to be.

That crack last night was bit moreish.

once you go crack you never go back.

I was violated by a Scandinavian unicorn and currently find my saddle both uncomfortable and tainted with harrowing memories.

Jfddi

I missed my last dentist appointment as my house was burgled in the night and the forensic team were dusting down the whole place...
.

Blood in my poo...

That crack last night was bit moreish.

I've come off crack, accidentally run to Windsor and my legs have turned to jelly.

I didn't like my hair this morning.

I couldn't come because ChainBreaker stole all my excuses.

1. my missus has had a baby
   
2. my sister has had a baby
   
3. work
   
4. change of plans
   
5. I've just had a baby
   
   
   

I was getting preggers

I couldn't come because ChainBreaker didn't scream the right excuses.

I couldn't come because ChainBreaker hugged me and wouldn't let go.

Ikea

I kead you not.

Bad things happen to me whenever I get on my bike - I am giving up cycling and getting into safer activities like lion taming and fire breathing.

Can't go, threads need merging. . .