the excuses thread also known as the bedwetting thread

so you've put your name down for an awesome sounding ride.
as the ride draws near either something gets in the way or you just get a bit scared.

this is a thread to share your excuses or to find a good one.

ones i've used:

1. my missus has had a baby
   
2. my sister has had a baby
   
3. work
   
4. change of plans
   
   

some are good, some are fairly weak.

anyone else care to share they're bedwetting excuses with the masses.
i think people always need help thinking of an excuse that doesn't sound that lame.

1. my missus has had a baby
   
2. my sister has had a baby
   
3. work
   
4. change of plans
   
5. I've just had a baby
   

it's raining

is the excuse i always use

"My girlfriend doesn't want to ride because...

it's raining

...and I don't want to make her feel bad by going out without her."

oh yeah " your girlfriend " right ! haha

It's London, my friend...

.

I lost my daughter (to Albanian kidnappers) and I have to go and find her on the streets of Paris.

Rapha sample sale

I've just been caught doping.

Ride your bicycle?! You must be mad. Mine lives on the wall- like civilised people do.

Ikea

I have actually woken up in a puddle of my own urine.

I lost my daughter (to Albanian kidnappers) and I have to go and find her on the streets of Paris.
I think that one is taken.

My daughter lost an heirloom blanket and I have to go and find it on the streets of London.

this last night?

Did you find it?

Clever dad would have gone on the ride, like the heirloom blanket, and bought new at Ikea at a more convenient time.

i'm got so drunk last night i'm not actually sure where i am... meet you en route somewhere

The dog ate my homework book.

Oops...sorry....wrong thread...

My dog ate my bike (and I need to take him to the vet because that shouldn't be physically possible).

this last night?

yep.

Did you find it?

Yep!

Clever dad would have gone on the ride, like the heirloom blanket, and bought new at Ikea at a more convenient time.

Nah.

I was going to come, but I woke up today and decided I didn't like other people; or myself.

It looked promising at first, but the organisation is clearly piss poor, many of the riders on the list are a liability, and I've only got so many hours set aside each week for riding, so I'd rather go somewhere else, thanks all the same.

Common one for me, I'm wheel-less... (my bike got stolen...again!)