'The Srampagmano Tales' - New Cycling Book By Forumenger

^ Exposed! You dirty bugger.

I secretly oui on them at a later date.

Ooh-la-la!

^ Exposed! You posh dirty bugger.

It's an fair cop, now what about that golden shower you promised?

The perfect xmas stocking filler for you or the cyclist in your life, now in paperback via Amazon here!

^spam

Reported

If you pull the cover and binding off, you can crumple up each page. Fills more stockings. I managed six from one book.

Amateur. If you chew each page and then dribble portions of the masticated mush into old satsuma skins you can keep an entire secret second family of illegitimate sprogs happy until Easter.

purchased in paperback.

looking forward to this scarlett.

bought (on kindle / ipad) and v much enjoying, thank you.

Got around to reading this fine work yesterday. Great work Scarlett :-)

To meet Oliver at Look Mum had no need of clandestine,
the Guinness cake lay heavy in this overwhelmed belly of mine.
Though I changed my tea choice without fright nor with fear,
I moved to my right so the stranger could sit near.
Where I sat while I waited, to see Skully arrive,
wearing a cap, with his pals, their bikes left outside.
So I went for a smoke and to bid him hello,
he taught me a word up till then I didn't know.
From a song he had sung to his table of mates,
by a man I'd not heard of, though Skully says he's great.
No quarrel from me as then Oliver arrived,
tipping over the same chair, it fell on its side.
With a clatter not heard since Ben did the same,
not moments before like some queer forum game.
This book Oliver gave me like we had agreed,
I began it in Icco while my dough they did knead.
For my pizza topped with pepperoni and cheese,
I ate as I turned the first pages with glee.
The rest I will read when tomorrow arrives,
Its bounty remaining a welcome surprise.

My copy arrived,
I've read just the beginning,
was going to write a rhyme,
but I'm not very good at that sort of thing,
so I won't.
bother.

Book's good so far tho.

Just upgraded my phone to an iPhone5 and I must say that the Kindle app really does justice to the awesome tome. I shall now be reading it while on the lavatory. Better than that northern rubbish to accompany a good dump.

definitely an, we did it in gramer at school

Grammar? I would have thought that Secondary Modern was more appropriate.

At what point do I suggest I went to a gramer skool? I said gramer [highlight]at[/highlight] skool. Fuckwit.

Of course it was a secondary modern, thanks to the socialist education policies of my LEA all decent skools were closed and we all got an ejucashun based on postcode. So if you need a house burgled or body disposing of, you have my number.

You even quoted the at.

Blind twerps who are struggling to read thread >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gearing up for a cycling novel now. Well, 'cycling'. It'll have bicycles. It's starting to manifest in the most hypothetical terms anyway. Fuck knows. I've got 2 more days before I have to start unleashing the words. Who makes these fucking rules?

Pretty sure it's Oliver.

Thought as much.

No one gives a fuck about the rules, what we want is a very happy 2013 fulfilled with lashes of ink on paper, coupled with a three-dimensional view that encourage and shows the beauty of the multicoloured faces of cycling.

That's all, then if you throw in it a couple of pictures of how to trow rules will be no harm. Fearless explicitness is due.

Needless to say looking forward for the next volume.

I'm not using ink/paper for this one - touch typing for prose. It's not going to be *about *cycling either. Picture on the cover/s, that's it. Won't even know if I'm up to the task until I've bashed out a few sample chapters. I'm not much of a plodder by nature, but hoping encroaching (or possibly flourishing) middle age will help in that respect.

Who makes these fucking rules?

Pretty sure it's Oliver.

Thought as much.

It's not me, I just half-wheel him.

Just read the rouleur's tale on the tube on the way into work, it has a lovely gentle reveal to the identity of the paramour, it was so good I looped back and read it again immediately.

Is there any irony in reading a book about cycling while riding a train? No? Ok then.

Well you are not going to read it whilst riding your bike.