Custom Reynolds 853 completely inappropriate London-to-Paris mobile

I have stupidly agreed to ride from London to Paris in 24 hours at the end of October, and as I haven't done nearly enough training, I decided the only way to ensure I completed it was to build a new bike. To ensure I had no realistic prospect of re-selling it I decided to give it an integrated seat mast. I wanted BB30, but I don't have the reamers so had to stick with boring old british threaded, and I don't like the look of compact geo, so am sticking with a horizontal TT. Also, to make it as unsuitable for long distances as possible, I am going to give it a really short wheelbase and nice and stiff.
It should look something like this (thanks to Dammit for the new drawing board, my dining table and wife thank you):

I have also found some really expensive, unreliable and fragile KCNC cranks with a scandium spindle that explodes on contact with water that I intend on fitting:

I have some unreliable, scratched, superceded shifters to fit:

And some russian roulette chinarello 50mm carbon clinchers with oh no-vatec hubs which it shall roll on:

I did buy a front mech from some sort of comedian on fleabay who listed it as mint:

So I will have to get another one.

This can't take too long as I have unbuilt and flogged a load of parts from my old bike to finance this, so it has to be done by the end of October, or else I'm an epic fail. Will keep you updated.

Good thread.

Subscribed and good luck!

good luck! looking forward to seeing how this comes out

building the frame yourself?

Where did you get the wheels from?

Frame is being built by me, wheels were from carbon sport. Spider came free with front mech. Babies toes also from carbon sport to apologise for delay.

Great to see the board in use, looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Are you just using a standard seat tube for the integrated post? I think I was advised by ceeway that they didn't have anything suitable for doing that (with columbus tubing at least, though I was building with very compact geo)

Yeah, columbus are a no-no, but their is a suitably butted reynolds tube that will work. TBH i prefer using columbus, but having to use a plain gauge tube on the seat tube just wasn't going to work for me, I want to get it as light as possible/ reasonable...

Awesome man!!! great thread.

Spend the time you are going to spend building the frame training instead you crazy bastard.

Great thread but utter utter madness.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What he said!

But good luck (as you will need it...)

Ride is on Saturday. No training has been done, but the frame is starting to take shape...

Compound mitre for st/dt/bb junction.

Front triangle together:

Chainstays attached to BB

Having been tacked in place, double checking all tolerances etc.. with wheel and tyre

Offered up with forks and wheels

There have been/ are some quite serious problems. First off I couldn't get the tubing I wanted, so I ended up Spirit rather than 853, and had to chuck in a plain gauge 31.8mmm 1mm tubing for the seat tube. Second off, I labelled up the BB wrong, and tacked it on back to front (drive/non-drive). Fortunately I caught it before brazing it in properly. Thirdly, the seat mast topper still has not arrived, despite ordering in plenty of time, which is causing some stress. Fourthly, I won't have access to an integrated head tube reamer in time, so am considering brazing a shim into the head tube, removing the cups, and whacking in a king. Fithly, I gave up caffeine this week, so fuck you. My mum is going to babysit for me this week, which means I have a good chance of getting the frame done in time, so watch this space.
And fuck you

Is the 24hr 240ish miles?

I reckon you should be fine, the tiredness around 190miles without sleep will be the worst. Just concentrate on the beers, steak and frittes!

Good luck! and pack the wet weather gear.

Good skills, and good luck.

Is the 24hr 240ish miles?

I reckon you should be fine, the tiredness around 190miles without sleep will be the worst. Just concentrate on the beers, steak and frittes!

Good luck! and pack the wet weather gear.

I think I'll be fine, I don't think I needed to do any training, I'm in really good shape. As for kit, here is a photo of me this week in the gear I was thinking of taking, do you think it will be adequate?

Bit baggy

Chamois looks a good fit

nice project.

What I love about that picture is that in my mind he put it on and thought "I look ridiculous in this, my belly is poking out" then put on a larger tshirt, went back to the mirror and thought "perfect".

He's cool.

Is the 24hr 240ish miles?

I reckon you should be fine, the tiredness around 190miles without sleep will be the worst. Just concentrate on the beers, steak and frittes!

Good luck! and pack the wet weather gear.

the only diet for cyclotouring in france !

Don't forget Mules! They are the single most important part of an Englishmans diet whilst cycling in France...

Oh, and excellent thread by the way ;)

Looking good