2011-12-31 New Years' Eve: The Conscientious Objectors Grand Slam in an Evening Ride

Whilst riding home I managed to start the new year with the one thing I was going to try and make a real point of coming to terms with. Swearing, or the use of foul language.

In my semi-conscious state I was ambling along Holloway Road when this rather portly female came shuffling from a bus stop armed with what looked like the remains of a box of that culinary delight they call "Southern Fried Cat/Rat insert animal here" and attempted to launch it at me. Some kind of skidding sixth sense enabled me to miraculously dodge said heavy fire which annoyed her because she slipped and fell over. I bellowed "You fuckin' fat cunt" at her and the people at the bus stop (who had been laughing as she trundled towards me) went batshit crazy.

I was more annoyed that it'd taken me less than 2 hours to break one of my resolutions.

You rode through the Blackwall Tunnel? Didn't anyone stop you?

Shit, was that illegal? I didn't really seem to have any other options for getting to the closest rail station.

Was it illegal to ride through blackwall tunnel? huh...

I'm amazed that you could breathe down there!

Whilst riding home I managed to start the new year with the one thing I was going to try and make a real point of coming to terms with. Swearing, or the use of foul language.

In my semi-conscious state I was ambling along Holloway Road when this rather portly female came shuffling from a bus stop armed with what looked like the remains of a box of that culinary delight they call "Southern Fried Cat/Rat insert animal here" and attempted to launch it at me. Some kind of skidding sixth sense enabled me to miraculously dodge said heavy fire which annoyed her because she slipped and fell over. I bellowed "You fuckin' fat cunt" at her and the people at the bus stop (who had been laughing as she trundled towards me) went batshit crazy.

I was more annoyed that it'd taken me less than 2 hours to break one of my resolutions.

This is a great story!

Delighted to be introduced to the game of skill that is "cock punching". Cheers Sam.

Was it illegal to ride through blackwall tunnel? huh...

Ash told me to! Right before he fucked off to work leaving me to find my way on my own lol.

Ahh good old cock punching

Cock punch!

Back in the deep sarf at last. What a lovely bunch of forum folk you are - I had a fantastic night (even the 3 hrs in A&E had its moments...) and I'm glad the sloe gin went down so well!!
Well its getting light outside so it must be time for bed. Happy New Year all.

Great to meet you Phil, sloe gin was awesome and why on earth were you at A&E?

Delighted to be introduced to the game of skill that is "cock punching". Cheers Sam.

Ahhhhhhh...so that's why I've seen few of you standing with your hands down the pants, I honestly though I'm surrounded by pervs! Hmm...actually I still think that.

And if I gave so many people love bites, good thing I went home early. Thought that makes me sad at the same time.

Iainly boy, have you got a cold yet?

Dance party was epic. So was the 20 mile ride to (forgot his name's) place. He was so drunk and weaving I was worried he would die leaving me with no place to stay. Good times new friends!

Yeah that's how we roll @ Norths! Met some cool people last night and yes, the dance party was big! Put a face to the the infamous bodieanddoyle (who did deffo remind me of Mr Brand) Great to meet you Orange and come party again soon.

Not yet, but if I do I blame Lola!

Thanks all. Good to finally meet you Stonehedge, Yas and OSR.

Sorry we didn't do the whole ride - I found DJ at Old Street but then we bailed and went back to my mother's.

Happy New Year!

Ax

Great to see you and DJ last nigh! I was wondering what happened to you as I saw you cycling next to me for quite a while and then suddenly DJ disappeared followed by you...shame you didn't join us at the Flask, it was fun, especially the 80's disco! Definitely worth all this hill climbing!
Happy New Year to you too!

awesome night. but.

whose lurgee have i got?

Janallery, I had a cold for the last week...

loads of people disappeared in between the roebuck and the flask.

They went to some Russell in East Dulwich.

forget that shizz

i think it was the fault of chainbreakers relentless heavy petting and dribbling over everyone

we formed a splinter super group after the roebuck and headed of for a carbohydrate party. get over it xander, eat some carbs.

awesome night. but.

whose lurgee have i got?
Either eds or lolas! Evil people - see below

Janallery, I had a cold for the last week...

Not yet, but if I do I blame Lola!

No! I didn't even touch you... ok I did poke you with my finger once or twice but surely that wouldn't be enough to spread my germs! I would understand if you would lick me* or something but just a little poke can't be contagious!

• I don't even know why I just said that who on earth would lick other people....oh...hold on...
  

Sound like Iain the carrier...