The middle aged thread

Did you read about it somewhere, by using your phone camera as a magnifying device? This is how I have to read menus in restaurants these days

I like to wear my reading glasses when I’m eating nowadays - getting old is shit.

And always take some grocery shopping so that you can read the best before dates!

Have been frequenting Ricebrother in Spitalfields about once a fortnight for maybe three years.

Rock up, order combo rice box over the counter, pay, enjoy.

Called in last weekend after a ride. Went up to the counter to order and they just directed me to a terminal they have recently installed.

Didn’t have my reading glasses with me, so couldn’t order. Just told them to fuck off, and may have mumbled something about two world wars.

Reading glasses? Varifocals ftma.

I do the phone camera zoom reading thing too though.

It's when you have a pair upstairs, a pair downstairs, a pair in the car for when you're aht and abaht and the list goes on.

I walked right out of Leon the day they installed the payment kiosks and have never been back. This isn't McDonalds.

I can definitely remember a time when chest sweat was a central patch, not two separate ones. 😭

Just back from a vasectomy

Don't have or acquire a cat as it will jump in your lap with all its weight on the one foot standing on your nuts.

.

1 Attachment

Also shared to memes, but fits here too.

1 Attachment

I just absentmindedly added oat milk to a lemsip.

When I was a kid, ‘old’ people used to tell me to act my age, not my shoe size.
Funny then that now the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak, the older I get the more I’m inclined to act my shoe size, not my age.

I always use EU shoe sizes (as I find them more consistent across brands), and both my age and my shoe size have currently converged.

I can't find size 62 shoes anywhere.

I just realised my age and shoe size probably converged multiple times during my life and I didn't realise.

A few years ago, my age, my shoe size and my house number were all the same.

Put my back out sneezing over the weekend. Not for the first time either.

I put my back out trying to get a bike into my loft. Three weeks in bed was followed by a couple of tentative steps downstairs now and again, one of which into the garage where I sneezed three times. It hurt like hell but within five mins the back pain had disappeared.

Just bought some jump leads for the first time. Never going to use them.

Until your neighbour/friend staying over gets a flat battery and you get to be that guy

When I knocked out a car fuel line recently and pissed petrol everywhere outside his house, this retired engineer came out with all the tools from nowhere and saved me from getting it towed to a garage. It was his time.

Going to be using some on Saturday, on a Honda Jazz. That’s old aged not middle aged.

My kids just moaned at me for laughing over mandalorian whilst I read this thread. Bloody kids