The middle aged thread

i collected my varifocal glasses yesterday..

negotiating the two steps out of the shop was dauting. met Mrs M and her mum for birthday brunch in Shoreditch, i found it hard sitting down to eat as the table and my plate floating about as i moved my head during conversation hopefully this initial phase passes quickly.

I now own two pair of black vinylize specs, ffs they are expensive

• top - Toney destined for prescription sunglasses next year, groove lines curve down
  
• bottom - Camaro my latest pair, groove lines curve up
  
  

https://vinylize.com/

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^Fuck, they're expensive.

Indeed, I gulped when the varifocal lens was added, it doubled the price.

I was in this predicament in 2018, and decided bullocks, I’m only 54 once, time to look cool as fuck and maybe the grandkids will arrive this decade too.

2 or 3 visits to the loo in the night.

Recently going shopping specifically to buy some nice moccasin slippers.

Aches and pains.

Constant tiredness.

The sudden, unexpected and upsetting onset of short sightedness after having perfect eyesight until now. Reading cooking instructions on food packaging using my phone camera on zoom. My arms aren't long enough.... My face with glasses???

Absolutely refusing to accept I'm not a 21 year old whippet of a rider any more. A shockingly bad first marriage meant I spent a lot of time in the early 90s out on my bike and with my super competitive nature of never going for a potter I was rather fast and fit. I still have a super competitive nature and never ever go out for a potter, (32 Koms and counting 😄) but rides now ruin me for a day or two, physically and mentally. Maybe it is time to start pottering about? Taking an easy ride, looking at the scenery.... What would my strava buddies think? I guess I could make the ride private.......

I do have a great amount of hair though, hardly any greys, so not all bad.

I've so far enjoyed 52 Summers, and despite my terrible constant habit of doing stupid shit I'm still here so I guess I shouldn't complain.

Ok I have been wearing slippers for about three years now

I wear prescription react-o-light sunglasses with (accidental) brown lenses so I look like a fucking serial killer or a big Roy Orbison fan (I love “the Orb”). My back is fucking ruined, I can firmly tick the middle aged thread box enough to moan about modern pop music 🎶 in the hit parade

Here’s the bit I don’t get. When I were a lad punks looked like punks and liked punk music. Ravers looked the part and liked rave music, people who looked like they were in the smiths liked the smiths.
Now kids will look like punks and like Harry Styles or look like ravers or Morrisey and like Harry Styles, or whatever bullshit chart pop is going. I don’t get it, I go to gigs, I see young people making music that’s not Harry Styles. Is that kind of tribalism gone now? Do people just cosplay as social group but actually just don’t bother with the music bit?

I’m just a bewildered old man

Edit: is it drugs? Certain genres used to be associated with certain drugs and those certain drugs brought a lifestyle. Does NOx just make you like Harry Styles?

Why do I wake up so early?

short sightedness

If your arms aren't long enough you mean long (sightedness)

I can lend you a 3 year old to kick you in the face at regular intervals throughout the night. That seems to help with cursing the alarm.

Because there’s so much to be grumpy about it takes all day?

If you have not done it you really should get your prostate checked out. Does not need the finger, you can get a PSA blood test.

Yeah - I was just about mention this.

tbh, the finger test is nothing compared to the cystoscopy.

Googled that. Stopped reading quickly.

I was checked over in April, all good, need to drink less towards the end of the day apparently.

Well my first eye test in over 10 years will confirm on Thursday 🤓

The absolute BUZZ of hitting the Sainsbury’s wine aisle with 25% off six or more bottles and £85 quid of Nectar points

I've been invited to be part of this. Worth doing? I can't work it out.

https://digital.nhs.uk/services/nhs-digitrials/how-we-invite-people-to-join-the-our-future-health-research-programme#what-is-the-our-future-health-research-programme-

I got an invite to that.. I’m midway through a book about Cambridge Analytica however, so everything looks like data harvesting for shady global powers to me.. I shredded the letter and popped my tinfoil hat back on.

In other news, anyone had any success with “anti-snore” pillows?

Twin beds on the horizon if I don’t take steps to improve the situation

Has your bed-mate invested in good quality earplugs? World of difference over here...

CSB Alert, a few years ago I woke my wife up by NOT snoring.
She was concerned I had died in my sleep, so kicked me until I made some noise.
I am quite a heavy sleeper, twice I have slept through fire alarms going off (once in a Florida rental, once in a Dublin hotel, both times she had to violently shake me into consciousness, for me to fall instantly back asleep once it was determined there was no actual fire)
/CSB

I gave up booze, lost 5Kg, stopped snoring.
I don’t know if it’s related, but there’s no going back now, is there? : /

Hat deployed, ta.

Do you lie flat on your back when you sleep? Try lying on your side, it helps.
My mom used to snore and it was so loud it was hard for everyone else to sleep.

Simply start on booze until you gain 5kg, problem solved

My snoring comes and goes I can go months without and then have a few bad nights .. generally she can wallop me to get me to roll-over and it stops for a while at least

I was thinking pillow as I also have twingey neck pain at the moment (middle-age) so I though that maybe throwing money at the situation could address both issues