Whats the weirdest / oddest thing you done to keep a women/man happy?

Apart from a couple of things ( which are clearly fictional ), I can't see anything particularly weird or odd in here :-/

I used to go out with a girl who had a proper pathological fear of spiders. If she saw one she would often vomit and then pass out, no exaggeration. It was like they invoked the fear of death itself. However she loved all other wildlife and had always dreamed about visiting the rainforest knowing that she never could go because of the propensity of eight legged monsters.

I booked her a surprise holiday to Venezuela staying on Coche island in the south of the Caribbean and arranged for a friend of mine who is a jungle guide who I met in Brazil to summon a posse of 12 men to scan the jungle for overtly obvious spiders and plot a path to avoid any that would be across our intended route. The plan was to get a boat to Margerita and then a small plane to mainland Venezuela where we'd do a five mile or so walk through the jungle to the angel falls hopefully avoiding any freak outs so that she could realise her dream.

Bitch dumped me two months before we were due to set off and to this day doesn't know what the plan was.

I can laugh about it now.

^ When I told Jana this story she pissed herself for about ten minutes. Thats why we go on holiday to Suffolk.

I have a pal who blagged a bird that refused to sleep with him unless he curled one out on to her feet.

She was clearly a bit odd but she was as fit as fuck, so he took the strain...

Veronica's not that fit mate.

Bit odd tho'.

I used to go out with a girl who had a proper pathological fear of spiders. If she saw one she would often vomit and then pass out, no exaggeration. It was like they invoked the fear of death itself. However she loved all other wildlife and had always dreamed about visiting the rainforest knowing that she never could go because of the propensity of eight legged monsters.

I booked her a surprise holiday to Venezuela staying on Coche island in the south of the Caribbean and arranged for a friend of mine who is a jungle guide who I met in Brazil to summon a posse of 12 men to scan the jungle for overtly obvious spiders and plot a path to avoid any that would be across our intended route. The plan was to get a boat to Margerita and then a small plane to mainland Venezuela where we'd do a five mile or so walk through the jungle to the angel falls hopefully avoiding any freak outs so that she could realise her dream.

Bitch dumped me two months before we were due to set off and to this day doesn't know what the plan was.

I can laugh about it now.

Epic effort!!!

I used to go out with a girl who had a proper pathological fear of spiders. If she saw one she would often vomit and then pass out, no exaggeration. It was like they invoked the fear of death itself. However she loved all other wildlife and had always dreamed about visiting the rainforest knowing that she never could go because of the propensity of eight legged monsters.

I booked her a surprise holiday to Venezuela staying on Coche island in the south of the Caribbean and arranged for a friend of mine who is a jungle guide who I met in Brazil to summon a posse of 12 men to scan the jungle for overtly obvious spiders and plot a path to avoid any that would be across our intended route. The plan was to get a boat to Margerita and then a small plane to mainland Venezuela where we'd do a five mile or so walk through the jungle to the angel falls hopefully avoiding any freak outs so that she could realise her dream.

Bitch dumped me two months before we were due to set off and to this day doesn't know what the plan was.

I can laugh about it now.

Did she dump you for hiding things from her?

I missed an Astral Projection gig. I mean, WTF was I thinking?!

Did she dump you for hiding things from her?

Yes, my gay porn and Chariots membership card.

I've done some truly dark things to keep women happy.
I thought you were enjoying the Middle East?

I used to go out with a girl who had a proper pathological fear of spiders. If she saw one she would often vomit and then pass out, no exaggeration. It was like they invoked the fear of death itself. However she loved all other wildlife and had always dreamed about visiting the rainforest knowing that she never could go because of the propensity of eight legged monsters.

I booked her a surprise holiday to Venezuela staying on Coche island in the south of the Caribbean and arranged for a friend of mine who is a jungle guide who I met in Brazil to summon a posse of 12 men to scan the jungle for overtly obvious spiders and plot a path to avoid any that would be across our intended route. The plan was to get a boat to Margerita and then a small plane to mainland Venezuela where we'd do a five mile or so walk through the jungle to the angel falls hopefully avoiding any freak outs so that she could realise her dream.

Bitch dumped me two months before we were due to set off and to this day doesn't know what the plan was.

I can laugh about it now.

^ When I told Jana this story she pissed herself for about ten minutes. Thats why we go on holiday to Suffolk.
Repped for the effort. Sounds like it would have been quite an exhausting holiday. Glad you can (both) laugh about it now!

Please tell us you still went on the holiday?

Yes, my gay porn and Chariots membership card.

Did you go on the holiday?

Nah, I was in a bit of a state. What I didnt mention was that it was going to be our honeymoon(she wanted the destination to be a surprise)...had a whole wedding to unplan.

Anyway. ..can anybody top trying to clear the jungle of spiders for a girl?

I thought you were enjoying the Middle East?

I am. Why d'you ask?

Anyway. ..can anybody top trying to clear the jungle of spiders for a girl?

Aint nobody got time for that.

Nah, I was in a bit of a state. What I didnt mention was that it was going to be our honeymoon(she wanted the destination to be a surprise)...had a whole wedding to unplan.

Anyway. ..can anybody top trying to clear the jungle of spiders for a girl?
Oh, that ex girlfriend.

My mate became a vegetarian for a year or so, then, shortly after breaking up with his vege gf, he turned back to meat. She spotted us in tesco, he'd chosen a MASSIVE steak (silly BBQ one-upmanship) and she had a major freakout, following him around the store, shouting about no-wonder their relationship failed.

Best off out of it so far as I could tell.

Actually lol'd reading this, so good.

I once ate some sushi to shut my aggressively carnivorous boyfriend up keep my man happy:

Never again.

Whats the weirdest / oddest thing you done to keep a women/man happy?

Nowadays? Keep my distance.

Anyway. ..can anybody top trying to clear the jungle of spiders for a girl?

I went to the pictures to see The Beach.

I went to the pictures to see The Beach.

Is that better or worse than 8 mile because I went to see that with a girl once.

Made worse by the fact I had seen the film a few days earlier with a mate.
suffering Leonard twice in a week shudders

Think of her, she had to go with you...

Made worse by the fact I had seen the film a few days earlier with a mate.
suffering Leonard twice in a week shudders

His name's not Leonard.