This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Croydon is fine, it's the majority of twats who live there that are the problem. No respect for anyone but themselves (and that is lacking too).

no it really does smell like poo. possibly as a result of the sewage treatment plant nearby.

That is Hackbridge

Got clipped by a Rugby World Cup liveried Range Rover on the way home at 20:30 on Croxted Road this evening. Red traffic lights, two lanes of cars, clear filtering lane into the ASL. I filter into the ASL. I'm there long enough to unclip and put a foot down (track standing is for poseurs) when the lights change. Fucko McCunt in his stickered up Range Rover is in the left lane of the two lanes of cars so is desparate to get in front of everyone else so guns it from the lights. The left wing mirror catches me square in the back of my right arm as I set off. I don't fall (mad skilz) but I also don't get the reg due to the glare of headlights from on coming traffic.

I'm fairly sure I've only seen one such stickered up wank wagon in these parts. Where should I go first to unleash digi-fury?

There's some to be several version, including this;

Aye, I've seen a few in the press but the Range Rover driving bulb should hopefully be confined to the West/East Dulwich, Herne Hill locale.

If anyone with better google fu than me can find a marketing address or twatter handle, please let me know

https://twitter.com/LandRoverRugby

added this article also has a useful email address and phone number

http://newsroom.jaguarlandrover.com/en-in/land-rover/news/2015/08/lr_rugby_fleet_270815/

Glad your alright, wac

Ta

Twatted and emailed

No need to detail a boring and obvious tale of the road but I have seen two people riding turning a corner no-handed on MTBs on wet leaves this week and it didn't end well for either of them. What is up with people?

No need to detail a boring and obvious tale of the road but I have seen two people turning a corner no-handed on MTBs on wet leaves this week and it didn't end well for either of them. What is up with people?

Make sure you don't over detail that and make it boring.

Thanks for the heads up. I think I walked the line between boring and meh quite well.

Meh.

Northern line. Ugh.

That is all.

Insane close pass this morning by cunty mctwatcunt. Obviously caught up to her 50 yards later, did the universal gesture of 'what the fuck are you playing at?' as I passed, got a beep in return.
She catches up half a mile later when I'm in the bus lane, thankfully. Beefy Cocknose in the passenger seat leans out to give all the agro. I catch them again 100 yards later, they try to steer the car into me at low speed as we both want to turn right. Beefy yells "Get a fucking oyster card" at me.
There's definitely a type of person/social culture who reckons that if you're not driving a car, you can't afford a car - after all, why wouldn't you want the glorious experience of driving through London to work in rush hour? And that therefore cyclists are deserving of punishment.
It's most peculiar. Default setting as soon as you get in the car is rage.

Also my shoes are damp. 5/10.

"Highway Code rule 159, officer."

Insane close pass

damn beat me to it.

#juggalo4lyf

I have an unscientific theory that rain/the darker nights are linked to dozier driving than normal.
I was coming up Meadow Road in Oval today, just went through the blind corner/S-bend to see a grey Audi coming towards me on the wrong side of the road, with another car following it on the correct side of the road.
I had a car behind me and was pretty much boxed in, so I was sure a collision was imminent. For some reason I didn’t shout but I did do a ‘wake up’ movie-style whistle, really loud.
The Audi driver slammed the brakes on and stopped about a metre in front of me, bricking it and staring through the windscreen. He’d been looking down at his phone. There’s a school near there and kids cross that road all the time. I don’t know what possesses some people.

Had a proper 'here but for the grace of god' moment yesterday-ginger twat in a metalic leaf green peugeot 206 oncoming, turning right whilst looking round trying to read a street name, gf in passenger seat screaming because the fucking cuntard was milimeters away from taking me out even with the huge evasive swerve I made. Can see everything in surreal slo-mo... Really making me question if riding a bike in the UK is not just a suicide wish under different name.

Shitting peugot.