This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Queen owns 'em don't she. She's the queen, she can do what she likes. She'll come round and shoot you and them go off an shoot a fucking swan, cos she's the fucking queen.

If you startle the queen she can break your arm.

So whats the get-out for the royal parks then?

It's primary legislation.

The best reference on it is this post: http://road.cc/content/news/95155-are-police-fining-speeding-cyclists-richmond-park-exceeding-their-authority

didlol

Much drizzle but had clothes to cope with it.

Today I just encountered civilised courteous drivers. People kept giving way to me, was never cut up or any of the usual nonsense. It was lovely.

It's just amazing what a simple 'I SMELL' on your back can do.

This has been covered loads in the richmond park 3 lap challenge thread.

Essentially, it's probably not really enforceable, but the chances of getting to test in court are slim to none.

Thankfully I will be getting a holiday of sorts at half term. So all good!

@WillMelling, they were all women and you know how women scare me. One was even attractive and my age, so there was no way I could talk to her without drinking 2litres of cider and starting conversation by throwing up on her...
if only I could pretend to be normal like you.

Swipe right, swipe right....

That is totally going on my tinder profile, do I still need to credit you on there?

Also I know you're not good with technology, but you only need one finger to swipe, I'm clearly using two fingers to get a closer look.

Planned roadworks might help anyone:

Stockwell gyratory? Fuck, we had a consultation letter about that - hope they don't do what I think they are going to do as the phrases "balls up", "clusterfuck" and "dogsdinner" all spring to mind

Edit - just found the link: https://consultations.tfl.gov.uk/betterjunctions/stockwell-cross

Didn't the CS1 consultancy basically say it's a bit jazz in parts but we'll sort it out at some point (an on-pavement cycle path right next to the exit of seven sisters tube springs to mind).

Was anything sorted out?

Years of commuting along Stockwell Road and across the junction by the tube onto Binfield Road (and back in the evening) has left me with a deep loathing of the entire Clapham Road/CS7 pillockton. If these plans might improve their behaviour at all, I'd be happy. If they drop the entire rlj-ing, weaving, wobbling, braying wannabe-racer herd of cunts into an abyss, I'd find that acceptable. At least I'd have to dodge fewer potential t-bones.

Bloke on a geared road bike this morning heading west on CS2, RLJs while doing the world's most pathetic attempt at a whip skid (oooo, with brakes, you hero), then does a genuine contender for the world's most mincing endo (feeler blades would be necessary to measure the amount of rear wheel lift) and then does the most wobbly trackstand ever. Of course, he can't now see the traffic lights so all this display of ineptitude does is means he's stuck wobbling around in everyone else's way when the traffic lights change. WAC.

Blue road paint has that effect on people, I find.

@Ludd

My angryometer went off the scale when I saw the sign ... saying Cyclists dismount.

I often feel this way when I see those. As if suddenly our journey means nothing because roadworks.

Then again, balanced out heartily by the new sign when roads are narrowed for works saying 'Do not overtake cycles'...

Then again, balanced out heartily by the new sign when roads are narrowed for works saying 'Do not overtake cycles'...

No driver has ever read or obeyed one of those ever - esp round Oval currently.

Wait - there's a clusterfuck? etc

I am hopeful that some day I will, by dint of my mere presence on a bicycle, on the road in Oval, make a blood vessel in the brain of the motorist trying to bully me into the pavement, explode.

Lots of revvy cunt motorbikers this evening from Blackfriars to E&C getting annoyed by me not undertaking a left turning bus.

helpful chap pulled up next to me to say I was in the left turning lane at the last junction and ought to be more careful, bit baffled really it was just a normal lane and I was in front anyway. felt a bit mean to argue the point so didn't, thought he might get lucky and accidentally give someone else some good advice later on.

Taxi bumped into my rear wheel just before the Euston underpass, he was on his phone! I was too busy to care and just gave him a death stare as he over took me. 30 seconds later as I'm filtering through the underpass, the corima wheel i've strapped to my back hits a car's mirror. I stop to see if there's any damage and apologise but realise it's the same cab from earlier. I laughed and carried on.

The same could be said about 'cyclist dismount' signs and cyclists though so fuck it.

#iaintdoingnowalkinbitch

Oiled my chain.

Ride in was silent.

Funny that.