This morning's commute and other commuting stories

I've been freelancing for 17 years... #nomojo

Stopped at a light and thought the fellow in front of me had a weird gear ratio for the hill - it was Boris. Pushing a massive gear. Flaming fucking thundercunt thatcherrite mothercunt.

Riding down Regents St, attempted to filter but a bus driver swerved at me to block the gap; when it moved I went to the window to enquire - "do you want to be in there?" x 10, very aggresive, pointing to the Ambulance parked next to him. Wtf are you on mate? Me - "Stop being a fucking cunt" Him - "Prick"

No winners. Did remind me that I need to use one of Malcolm Tuckers finest next time though - sack of cum

the correct epithet for boris 'Flaming fucking thatchercunt' johnson is not 'Hero' but rather the more accurate: 'Flaming fucking thatchercunt'. please edit your post accordingly. thank you for your understanding in this matter.

Whoopsie daisies. Done.

arf!

now i feel bad.

Piles

I'll do what I can.

Oops that ^ was about snowtyres not piles.

@>>>>>> Maybe I'll end up like you but for now freelancing wins commuting bingo.

Dunno about that Skully, I do shifts so I start at either 7 or 10, I get variation and sick pay when I feel like a skive.

Wait, was the second bit to joe about piles?

Ride in, left in plenty of time so cruised rather than mashed arrived unsweaty which was god as I discovered I'd forgotten my boxers so had to keep my tights on under my shorts while working. Thought about going commando but lots of kids sessions on a monday evening so decided keeping tights on was safer.

Ride home, icy but cold enough that even mashing I didn't get sweaty.

8/10.

In case of unwanted erections?

Ill fitted mudguards on the pomp doubled my commute time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7kgzgcqe5s

#rep

My autumn gloves struggled this morning, until I hit the barmy warmth of zone 1. Otherwise it was a clear ride in shorts, base layer and a soft shell.
7/10

I think it's time I shopped for some proper gloves and something to stop my ears from feeling it. Jesus.

Broke my shifter while dropping key off for broken down car so had to use damaged leg to push silly big gear. 10/10 would smash again. #notactuallyacommute

I had a belter this morning. That combination of legs feeling great, hitting every light on green, cornering like..well, quickly, no cunty driving, smile from a beautiful girl and saw an even nicer Merckx frame.

Would do again, literally no sweat. 9/10.

are cunt runners the new nodders?

Douchebage screaming "DICK" at me as he jogged across the road almost right into me on a red man while I was on a green light, queue a bunch of other people looking disgustedly at me.

Three weeks left. Thank fuck

jumper, primaloft vest, wind jacket, woolly hat, lobster gloves, arm warmers >> toasty, still not sweaty. 9/10
why so much traffic!? 7/10
average: 8/10

Almost the ideal ride in. No racing, no sweat upon arrival. Brief chat to a cute girl (who ended up going the same way as me and I fear she thought I was following her). All good until I'm rolling up Bishopsgate - light goes green and some ped wanders across anyway and calls me a twat for riding in her general direction. Porky idiot. Couldn't help but lol it off.

7.5/10

rollerbladers in cycle lanes... what are you thinking!?

It could be worse

rollerpolo?