This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Police, witness statements? This is London, there are no police and drivers do what they want.
If by some miracle the OB were to show up then plenty of people would have been able to tell them what happened.

http://rover.ebay.com/rover/1/710-53481-19255-0/1?icep_ff3=2&pub=5575378759&campid=5338273189&customid=&icep_item=223228900476&ipn=psmain&icep_vectorid=229508&kwid=902099&mtid=824&kw=lg&toolid=11111

Mike's on the wanted list for damage to high end cars.

37-622 THROUGH NOT AROUND

(why yes, my back wheel DOES resemble a taco)

Yes I agree, and I'd say that applies over the country. If you wanna murder someone do it in a car and you'll get a pat on the back and something about bloody cyclists and road tax.

I like that story!

douchebag on a bike was very lucky I wasn't a car on my commute home when he decided to shoot across the road from the opposite pavement from behind a parked car without even glancing behind him, no lights, headphones in.
he shit himself and nearly fell off when I locked up inches from plowing into him.
what a fucking prick.

Was he youngish? Probably a rental.

Utter penis pulled a ridiculous overtake this morning.

Heading down York way under the rail bridge I cut right to the canal ND North of St pancras. There's a taxi to my right so I slow slightly to let him get ahead. As he passes I simultaneously shoulder check and hold out my right arm only to nearly punch the hi vis prick on my wheel in the ribs.

Luckily I was able to reel off a few expletives as I peeled off to the right.

Had a fairly tame off today on a cyclepath. Loose dog + a decent amount of decayed leaf litter = me bailing onto my arse.

https://www.heraldsun.com.au/motoring/on-the-road/chris-cox-used-to-despise-cyclists-believing-they-should-get-off-the-roads-then-something-changed/news-story/3ebd9f4ef4dfb9554dd86eaaa9b7f731

wfh

I like that. If only everyone could take that journey!

White van overtakes almost knocking me off, because they have to swerve right into me to fit through a raised pedestrian crossing with bollards on both sides. Wrote down the number plate - untaxed and no MOT. Reported to police.

2 mins later, an attempt at careless and dangerous overtake, different driver, this time I block them and flip them off. The satisfaction. It would have been pointless anyway - traffic jam 100m down the road.

Arrive home, post person delivered new bike toys. That's better.

It would have been pointless anyway - traffic jam 100m down the road.

That's the fucking worst. The biggest argument I ever got into in traffic was when some fuckhead beeped at me because I was taking the lane about 50m before a traffic jam. To this day, I don't understand what the motivation was. There's a fucking queue in front of you. Overtaking me makes absolutely no difference.

it's really wankery.
I had a lady behind me yesterday who tried to overtake me as a car was pulling out from a junction into the oncoming lane.
I looked behind and took the lane to block her, and gave the customary tap the helmet 'use your brain you fucking idiot' hand signal.
Less than a minute later she overtakes on a bend while a car is coming towards in the oncoming lane, then 50 metres later she has to slow for a speed bump, then stop for a traffic queue, at which point I filter past (making sure to slow down and give her an exadurated head shake and look of extreme unimpressedness)

I reckon 90% of shit overtakes are just down to people being impatient. the fucking nobs.

I hear ya. Defensive riding is great but also scary at times. But riding right next to parked cars is not an option too. So you take the lane. But then there is still space for a squeeeezy overtake, which was that second case today. Nah fellow road user, fuck off and chill

If anything, by slowing them down before the inevitable stop in traffic, you’ve actually saved them money and reduced emissions ever so slightly

Excursion into london’s famous London for a job interview today . Mini velo on the midland into Euston. Intended zen pootle through Bloomsbury and down to the city got off to a bad start as I crossed the Euston road - wobbly trackstanding bmc chap creeping into the junction blocking my path - enquired what he was playin at . Didn’t hear the reply but there defo was one...... maybe it was that I was late through the junction .....meh ......

OK, so I had first this morning. The first time I have been called a sausage as an insult!

It all started quite normally: idiot in some sort of SUV pulls onto a roundabout into my path, brake checks me three times after I give him the "thanks for that, pal" wave. Then, when he inevitably had to stop up the road and I explained that he'd pulled out in front of me, among the usual rubbish, he goes and calls me a sausage.

On the plus side, it put a smile on my face...

Anyone else have any amusing insults to share?

Many years ago when driving my (proper) Mini I pissed off some tosser in a Jag by Hyde Park Corner and gave him a 2 fingered salute.
At the next set of lights he wound down his window (no electrics then!) and said "You're just a big guy in a small car aren't you?"
It completely threw me because it was true: I'm 6'2" and just about fitted in the car...

The only person I knew that owned a (proper) mini was also a lanky bugger. Is there some weird trend for tall people?

That's hilarious!

(I may have bucked that particular trend / am the exception that proves the rule: I had a Mini, but am only 5'10"....)

Ha - I went through four of them before kids forced me to get a bigger car

I'm not sure what happened to this guy. I was 10 and he was driving so at least 18 but I'm pretty sure he was taller than my old man. I remember him rocking up and having to fold himself into and out of the car.