This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Sidenote: Morrisette autocorrects to "terrorism".

I think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?

It's like 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a duck-sized guillotine.

If you have a big enough hammer, everything will become a nail.

All your nail are belong to hammer!

Somehammer set us up the nail!

few page nail

Can we claw this back on topic please?

I once saw a duck on my commute.

Enough sledging, be civil!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo

Yeah, right, next you're going to claim you once had a puncture caused by a nail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5r6Lr0C32I

Hammer = the @31trum screwdriver/spanner/spoke key etc

One day aged 16 I got home from school and was ordered by mum to mercy kill the pigeon that had been shot and landed in our garden. Gave it a good whack with a shovel and it made the most intense eye contact with me for a second and slumped over.

Dad gets home and asks why there's a half-dead pigeon down the garden. Turns out I'd just beaten the poor sod over the head and not killed it. He wrung its neck to finish it off and ended up ripping it's head off.

At about 12/13, a friend and I found a small bird (not sure what it was) that had clearly flown into a window and broke its neck. It was flopping all over the place, it could fly way and couldn't hold its head up. I suggested dropping a breeze block on it but my friend refused. Being an impressionable sod at that age, I agreed to drowning it in a bucket of water. Of course, him being a cunt, he made me do it. That was harrowing.

A friend of mine was behind a white van once that hit a cat. The cat was in all sorts of bother, so the bloke in the van grabbed a hammer out of the back and caved the cat's head in.

My friend said he was nearly sick seeing the split second drama unfold

Rant warning/ Handbags with a Jeep driver who started beeping me on a residential road. turned around to see what’s up and saw them gesturing wildly for me to move over. I moved more into primary and slowed down a bit only for them to try and undertake me instead... safe. /rant over

Today a pigeon diced with my front wheel, but no-one was hurt.
Life/10

Did you make a nice stew?

My short commute last Wednesday made the local news:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/localnews/2645425-Hull/0#post_5af301e32bf832066771f3dc
https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/cyclist-attacked-man-passing-motorbike-1548982

:(

All ok again?

Just ended up with a bit of road rash, a sore hip, and a few stitches above my eyebrow. Mostly healed now. They tried to push off another cyclist behind me too. Apparently the motorbike was stolen, which probably makes it less likely they will find them.

Not a commute cos I am on holiday in The Mumbles, but want to shout out to Swansea for a fucking exceptional bike path that runs along the bay. Definitely the best shared path I have ridden. Smooth, well marked and rarely a path where for the most parts peds stick to their side. And the views when the weather is like this...

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I am 99% plane tree seeds. Me lungs are flocked.

I rode to work. Vitamin D.