This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Perfect camera angle for demonstrating the problem, really.

Thank you to the man riding his suitcase to work. Or at least I thought he was: he'd just strapped a suitcase to the front of his mini scooter. You gave me many laughs.

Thanks also to the hi-vis workman at the Tooley St lights, whose poorly made plastic whistle gave a delightfully hilarious 'pfloot' when the lights were about to change.

And finally, a pat on the back to the hungover man chundering into an open drain outside Brixton Tube station. You had too much sauce last night, methinks, but fair play for making it to the Underground before 9 a.m. Chips for lunch.

Friday/10

I'd like to shout out to the man who must have been on here:
carradice nelson, brooks saddle, black converted steel frame, dildo bars no grips, gustin denim, white shirt, lezyne lights, lovely jacket, cherry red dms, pedals and double straps.

slightly disconcerting as you were at least 20 years older than me.

Ah. Nice to hear @mashton is back on the bike

DING DING DING.
PEW PEW PEW

Shots fired etc.

You're both in your forties right?

How do statins taste?

Ha, that's funny.

Did you use MS Paint yourself to make that, or can you get Photoshop on the library computers now?

I don't know, I think your mum knows what their metabolites taste like.

Thank you to the man riding his suitcase to work. Or at least I thought he was: he'd just strapped a suitcase to the front of his mini scooter. You gave me many laughs.

No, it's a real thing: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Micro-3in1-Suitcase-Scooter-Updated/dp/B004IU0OZY

FFS...

Yes, my dad takes statins and he enjoys a healthy sex life, including oral, with my mum.

I'm intrigued that you are interested in those facts. Does it turn you on?

Only slightly.

Keep talking, I'm nearly there...

Nearly got taken out by a minivan running a red light out of a side street turning right into a queue of traffic which wasn't moving and therefore parked across the road I'm on, a cyclist coming round the back of said mini van head on into me on the wrong side of the road, with a pedestrian behind him casually walking across the road, and my pedal just glancing the kerb trying to avoid all three of the cunts. haha

Bit shouty this morning, must be the stress of spending all day in court yesterday (as a witness) working its way out. Not helped by some stupid driving.

Apologies to the lady on the cream colour single speed heading SW on Shacklewell Lane, 08:30ish. I was shouting at the idiot van driver, not you.

#needtochill/10

Oh yay... a downpour 5 mins before I finish work......

Sunny when I left my desk. By the time I was on my bike, it was pouring.

fucking 'summer' apparently!

Fuck everyone out there this morning without mudguards.

And some of them with, too.

I don't mind people who overtook me and slow down, I do mind however getting splattered more than a Jackson Pollock's shit from behind.

Yup, allowing a decent stopping distance in this kind of weather invites people to nip in front of you. Maybe they have disc brakes and don't realise that other people might not be able to stop as well.

I particularly like not being able to see too well, because glasses in rain, and having someone on a red lemond act like they're at a race and try to steer into me.
I also like it when buses look like they're going to cut into you, so you do something (slow down) and then the bus driver shouts like a cunt at you.

1/7