Beating People on the commute who have a better bike

I have been getting the train this week. My old pug has been falling apart .. it must because of my Janess.

You've been on the Ullrich pie plan over winter ?

This is about proving to carbon roadie cunts that you can fly past them with 1970s tech

What about us scandium roadie cunts?
Do I have to get out the S-Works w/ Zipps for the commute?
Life is so confusing.

How dare you turn this into some sexual bullshit ...

... because you have the big ring attitude.

This shit writes itself.

What about us scandium roadie cunts?
Do I have to get out the S-Works w/ Zipps for the commute?
Life is so confusing.

Scandium/ alu is for Crit types.

This thread is about beating roadies, who have likely already cycled 30miles, on the couple 100 meters that happen to overlap with your 2 mile fixeh pootle.

Written by someone that has only has a 2 mile pootle to work^ ;)

^And Mr P puts his finger on what this thread is really all about.

Hater^ Spoken like a proper slow coach

What about us scandium roadie cunts?
Do I have to get out the S-Works w/ Zipps for the commute?
Life is so confusing.

Well you are just perverse .. should be locked away.

This shit writes itself.

I see what you did there ... comon man ... I expect better out of you guys.

Yesterday was racing an experienced commuter, whilst I on a Boris Bike, round Horseguards - arrived at the Mall (OK panting a bit) an honourable second - to which his responded "fug me mate, good speed" - I lost, but my fellow competitor wore his victory with good grace.

Eat my shorts, pannier man.

If you lose on an inferior bike you can always blame it on the bike ... if you win you can always credit yourself.

Ride Steel ... push those pedals and Pray to the church of the big ring.

This thread has entered my subconscious: I dreamt that I was following a reasonably fast rider on my commute in (on my old Mercian), I decided to overtake the guy (who was on a v similar Mercian), but he was going slightly slower than my usual tempo, as I got to the lights first, I was breathing slightly heavily,whereupon the overtaken rider arrived and dished out a stream of abuse in my direction.

Since this dream I have not overtaken anyone !

I passed the same chap about six times today on the way in, OKR-Great Dover Street, he kept jumping reds past me.

It was a good challenge having to chase him down each time.

he he nice one.
I like doing that with drivers
just rolling up alongside and whistling " your car is shit and it dosent work anymore" through the window.

he he nice one.
I like doing that with drivers
just rolling up alongside and** whistling " your car is shit and it dosent work anymore"** through the window.

*whistling *that? is that some well known tune that has passed me by?

try whistling it to the tune of
"Ive got a brand new combine harvester" by the wurzels

The scan's a bit crap, unless you do 'your car is shit and doesnae work nae more'; so that would be a Scottish Wurzels tribute band.

Jason, being slightly quicker than a car that can't move more than 10mph safely is nothing to be smug about.

However being faster than a car that can do 30, 40 or 50mph safely is something to be a smug bastard about ... It part of the BRA (Big Ring Attitide). To be a warrior one must choose worthy opponents ... not mock the weak (I do both ... but at different times .... I mock the weak for a hobby not as part of my duty).

I will have a Dodge Charger one day and drive it to work ... just to look like an lumberjack that had got lost and turned up in England

Anyway advanced commute techniques ....

1) It is best to ride alternate bike on alternate days, have a "slow" bike and a "fast" bike.

The reasoning for this, is that you will think on the faster bike you will ride faster as a given, when going back to the slower bike you will become frustrated and push the bike harder to match the pace on the fast bike.#

As a result you will keep on racing yourself and become faster ... more brutal and your BRA (Big Ring Attitude) will increase.

2) Look like you are slow, let the fucker overtake you and then speed up and sit on their wheel. Let them dictate the pace and when you feel strong ... blast past and leave em for dust.

3) Overtake a pretty girl on your Fixed/Single speed while going uphill (this proves that you have thighs that make the Earth fear your pedal strokes). Then "get caught by the red light" ... wait for her to compliment you on your janess. You then joke that you are a better man because of your lack of gears ... this implies that your penis size is inversely proportional to the amount of gears that your bike has.

i.e. Penis size (in feet) = constant ( 1 / no. of gears) (Remember you cannot divide by 0 on this one :D).

If all goes well she will compliment you on your janess and will at least have a chat about your bike ... and how you are nuts ... you will play this off as being "the norm" for you and she will either be suitably impressed or think you are a total nutter ... or both ... do not mention that you worship "the jan" (this makes them think you are a bit creepy).

Then forget to ask her for her name and number after doing all the hard work ... like a nob.

Jason, being slightly quicker than a car that can't move more than 10mph safely is nothing to be smug about.

However being faster than a car that can do 30, 40 or 50mph safely is something to be a smug bastard about ... It part of the BRA (Big Ring Attitide). To be a warrior one must choose worthy opponents ... not mock the weak.

I like this.

must make a note of it.

Anyway advanced commute techniques ....

1) It is best to ride alternate bike on alternate days, have a "slow" bike and a "fast" bike.

The reasoning for this, is that you will think on the faster bike you will ride faster as a given, when going back to the slower bike you will become frustrated and push the bike harder to match the pace on the fast bike.#

Another good advice, I can't says I hasn't notice this with my slow and fast bike.

It only work if both your bike don't have computer though.

I might actually make a version "of the rules" for commuter behaviour ... watch this space.

BTW the fuck that tagged "get over your dad" can fuck straight off ... balless cunt face.

Take it with a pinch of salt - they're only words.

Take it with a pinch of salt - they're only words.

Err No.

Apparently I am a twat because I look up to my father? WTF?

It's the internet. Get over it

lucas, I know you mean well, but in the end, it's just words, ignore it.

rising up to it mean that they serve it's purpose.