What to say to a bad road user

dont take anything personally,
they are just a dickhead in a vehicle and your just a dickhead on a bike after all.
acknowledge them and keep going, the best way of doing it is just stay with your postion, youre traffic, they can live with the fact that despite everything going on you- as a quality road user, will yield to them when it is safe to do so.

more and more I am aware that the majority of vehicles on the roads are being flown by people with the most very basic of training to get them the license.

acknowledge them and keep going, the best way of doing it is just stay with your postion.

Basically the general idea that CTUK teach, precisely what I've been doing all day today on the CS7, glad to hear it's the safest method.

I think that once you give up the idea of getting any kind of revenge you can relax a lot more and let the bad moments slide away like a brakeless hipster on an icy Clerkenwell Road.
Personally I find nothing more relaxing on the old legs than getting home and basking in a warm glow of self-satisfaction.

I have never had the pivledge of meeting Mr WW, but I do agree with everything in the above quote big time, and it's not for the first time I've agreed with him either!

I like to follow them until they stop at traffic lights and then gently insert a single flower up their exhaust, Human Be-In style.....

I ride zen like, I gave up shouting years ago. The other day a woman called me a 'fucking ginger knob face' because I got in her way and she tried to run me over. I momentarily racked my brain for a witty/clever/peaceful response and came out with 'FUCK YOU YOU RANCID PISS FLAP'. I think I surprised myself as much as her, I'm normally such a nice boy..........

This is another technique that works well, in the right circumstance
http://www.lfgss.com/thread16800.html

like that, simply ghastly title for a thread though

Not you as well. Maybe you and GA2G could start a list?

Probably best not to say anything to bad to drivers. Don't tell them to get off their mobiles (unless they do something stupid whilst on it and cause you to swerve/etc). Not clever going round teaching cars about 'what the ASL is for'. You never know who you are dealing with, and we aren't fast enough or well protected enough to fight back if they decide they want to run us over. Not worth it.

I disagree with those recommending riding in primary more than necessary, like on a narrow road or something. Riding in primary position all the time is needlessly antagonistic. IMO it's only acceptable if you can keep up with the traffic, like a motorbike would. If you're don't you slowing down the traffic, that's not clever. It just causes problems, making it more dangerous than just letting cars overtake when there's space. I think that part of it is accepting that on a bike, we just aren't on the same level as motorbikes or cars. If we were we'd be able to match their speeds and their acceleration. No point riding like a car would if you can't do 30-40mph for a fair distance. A few riders on here seem to have some kind of professional victim complex.

just sayin'.

Not you as well. Maybe you and GA2G could start a list?

i made a funny about GA2G innit (or maybe not)

I have used the kiss blowing method, the rude boy got such a ribbing from his mates and just went bright red. Following up with "darling you are looking rather flustered" helps their agony.

well said, lpeg.

100% lpg, I move in and out as required, riding the middle to prove a point is always going to lead to grief

I disagree with those recommending riding in primary more than necessary, like on a narrow road or something. Riding in primary position all the time is needlessly antagonistic.

who says you have to ride in the primary position at all time? nobody suggesting that.

Do understood what you meant thought, working with the traffic instead of against it.

Primary position is that position which allows you to cycle safely; on a narrow road that would be nearer the centre so as to discourage, or entirely prevent, dangerous over taking. On a wider road it means not being in the gutter; the ability of car drivers to safely overtake you is not affected. Perhaps there is confusion about what 'primary position' means. There was discussion of it here: http://www.lfgss.com/thread44004-3.html#post1667906 very recently.

i made a funny about GA2G innit (or maybe not)

me too

If they are behind you sounding their horn then why do you have to say anything? As Hanson says, you need to concentrate on what you are doing. The chances of being able to have a rational conversation with them are small. As long as you know you are cycling in a safe and considerate way then why let their rudeness and impatience bother you? Only if you think they are going to ram you should you pull over and let them through.

Exactly.

Additional food for thought:
Despite the huge differences in effective levels of danger, damaging, attempting to damage, or even abusing in any way a driver's vehicle is likely to provoke a similar reaction to if a driver / ped were to walk up and key your lovely carbon/ti/steel/magnesium/bamboo/gas pipe weekend warrior build, and shouldn't be undertaken unless you are in danger, and even then should not be carried out with the intention of causing damage, rather to alert said driver or deter them. It may sound obvious, but does the 'them or us' attitude often propagated on angry threads about crazy drivers actually make this come across as a good idea? Is d-locking the wing mirror of a driver who passed a bit close than you would like the answer? Logic says no.

A-hem; there was a certain someone who posted on LFGSS very recently about taking off a driver's wing mirror. Leaving that driver, presumably, even less able to drive safely. You know who you are, you silly cucumber.

i suggest you fake one of these

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article18590.ece

say 'police officer', flash it at the driver (nobody ever looks at them closely) then tell them you'll let them off this time and to go study their highway code.

Bike radar bit - I was riding along past parked cars the other day taking primary position, van revving behind me, get to a bit with no parked cars so I duly swing over to the left, van pulls up beside me and a ten year old sitting next to his dad winds down the window and shouts 'get out of the fucking way you cunt'. Charming, I thought, like you've done cycle training anyway. And off they sped.

You shouldn't feel the need to 'get out of the way' due to vehicles revving like mad behind you.

For every idiot behind the wheel of a car, I have met at least 3 who are considerate to cyclists. The balance of this makes me able to ignore most idiotic behaviour by drivers. If I am being inconsiderate I give way, if not I hold my ground. I'd rather get to my destination in one piece that be another cycling statistic.

I've often found when someone shouts abuse either ignoring it or smiling back at them calmly 'Someone got out of bed the wrong side today' diffuses the situation and as they drive off into the sunset gives them something to think about (in that they are probably in a foul mood and it wasn't the poor innocent* cyclist who is to blame).

*in the majority of cases.

Fuelling their fire is only going to make things worse overall for other cyclists, in that drivers angry with cyclists will then be on a mission to wind up future cyclists.

Having the mental age of a schoolboy I have started holding my hand in front of my head in an L shape whilst saying "Loser", then I set them on fire.

I wear a Jeremy Clarkson mask and bodysuit - I find this gains me kudos with irrational idiots behind the wheel

In the face of abuse and aggression I usually use "take a deep breath mate".
It has worked on some occasions.
It hasn't worked on others.