Does anyone know anything about gardening?

Good eating for the local hedgehogs are slugs. I'm trying to plant as many slug-attracting plants as possible. Much to the dismay of Alison The Gardener.

....and there's a good meal on a hodgepig.

Good suggestions, thanks. A few Hostas already on the list.

Loads of amazing ferns out there too, we just picked up this...

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I have one of these Jack Frost plants that does very well under a tree.

https://www.thompson-morgan.com/p/brunnera-macrophylla-jack-frost/T57542TM?of_opi=MFRWG5B5GM2DEJTGMVSWISLEHUYSM4DSN5SESZB5GE4TOOBU

Also I have a few aquilegia next to it that seems happy and are stunning when in bloom.

My garden (about 4mx4m) was planted with a load of Cypress trees along the borders (probably about half a dozen per side). Seems pretty excessive and not very colourful so we'll be getting rid of them at some point.

Would ideally like something that we can eat and also look nice or things that will attract bees, butterflies, etc.

Any suggestions?

Where the fuck did this frost come from?

It's caught me totally by surprise.

Any suggestions?

In the UK, apples. There are so many to choose from.

Also depending on your soil blueberries. One of ours has particularly nice red stems and leaves for much of the year. Note that apparently you'll have more success if you mix different varieties.

Don't bother with pears or cherry if you want fruit.

Look at columnar trees (eg: https://www.chrisbowers.co.uk/supercolumns.php), you should be able to border your garden with several varieties and can add in plums etc. Remember if you have more 5 trees its and orchard not a garden.

It’s November. No one should be surprised by a frost in November.

Our neighbour's cherry was prolific this year, might have been because of the extended hot spell early spring though.

@inchpincher is that a pack of spores or just a label from a plant?

Label from a plant, my mum went fern mad the other week so I went over to help plant a border in exchange for a couple of leftovers.

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That's interesting.

Still I'd wouldn't plant a normal fruiting cherry in a 4m2 garden.

Not a fruit or a tree, but Forsythia is a solid choice for brightening up the garden early.

Cheers and @Ramsaye , will look at those.

We're not specifically looking at replacing trees with trees (apart from the back wall where we want something to hide the ugly fence). Entirely open to what goes in there, could be trees, bushes, shrubs, etc

Raking leaves is bloody great. Sweaty work. Makes the garden look neat. A very welcome distraction.

I’ve just been making a massive pile on top of some out of control ivy, but other than bagging it up and taking them to the tip (no thanks), what could/should I do?

Would this be a stupid time of year to buy a small fig tree - I have no glasshouse/shelter for it?

Leave them somewhere for the little critters to overwinter in, or turn them into fine compost. Ideas here:

https://rootsandall.co.uk/what-to-do-with-fallen-leaves-in-your-garden/

Leave them somewhere for the little critters to overwinter in

Big fucking pile by the ivy it is. Cheers.

I have a tiny one in a pot. Last year I brought it into the enclosed porch, but I think it was a bit too warm for it, it seemed to struggle to get going in spring. It's just dropped all its leaves in the last week. This year I might stick it in a sort of small covered bit next to the house, which might be too cold for it.
It should be fine if you let it overwinter somewhere it doesn't get too frosty.

Should be fine, they're harder to kill than keep alive. Remember to restrict the roots or it will take over your garden faster than Hitler did Poland.

Frost destroying the leading growing point causes bushing out, typically 3 new shoots per branch. Often encourages fruiting as well.

hide the ugly fence...Entirely open to what goes in there

A rambling rose is a good shout.

I always recommend this one as is heavily flowering in season and produces flowers almost all of the year - we still have new buds coming out now.

My boss and I were chatting about roses and we both agreed that buying no-name roses is a false economy. So if you do go for a rambling rose, it's worth spending the little bit extra to get one from a breeder like David Austin.

Cheers for the fig advice, all.

Cheers. Looks a distinct possibility.

How wide do these things grow? Websites always tend to tell you height but no real indication on width.