Does anyone know anything about gardening?

We have a really well established fig tree (planted when the house was built in 1932)
We get loads of fruit by removing any fruit bigger than a grape in the autumn once the leaves have dropped.

https://www.rhs.org.uk/fruit/figs/grow-your-own

Cautionary tale from a colleague. He was bitten by a false widow in his welly boot. Unfortunate enough to react badly to the bite and spend 8 days in hospital. Still has a 1" wound healing over after 4 weeks. Shake your wellies out.

Sounds like the bite had some welly to it

Had a mate at work get bitten by a spider (not sure which kind) and it got infected. He was two months off work and at least a couple of weeks in hospital.

Have been thinking about repotting (and cutting back) a Clematis that hasn't really taken.

Want to do it whilst it's still dormant but not sure if I should risk it now as it's getting milder, but with the potential for snow in Easter, or wait another month or two

If it's an early flowering one, do it after flowering, otherwise Feb is the preferred month.

https://www.rhs.org.uk/plants/clematis/pruning-guide

Then again, it's so mild in London, now probably isn't a terrible time.

Oh interesting, assumed it was group two but looks like it is group one (Montana) so will wait

Pruning a fig tree in a pot. Any advice?

Pruning for what end result?

Fruit! (and managability)

We had a massive montana. I always pruned it after flowering when it started to go completely wild, sending out shoots everywhere.

Yeah would love ours to get anything like yours! I think a mix of nit being happy in a pot, and not pruning well enough at first meant it didn't get established well.

Hoping that the new pot (which I'll cut the base off so it goes in the ground) and a good trim will revitalise it

Afraid ours is no more. We redid the garden and it's gone.

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14 degrees in Norwich later, get mowing!

I've always awaited the result of any frost damage to leading shoots, (often results in 3 young branches).
Pruning 'now' might reduce fruit production as the tiny nascent figs are in the buds.

I think I've asked before but can't find it.

We've got a clematis at the back of the garden trying to cover an ugly fence (about 2m x 5m) which is in the shade. It grows very quickly which is a good thing (don't want to wait for years for cover) but during the winter dies right back which isn't ideal.

Are there any evergreen options I can look at for doing the same? Cheers

Ivy is the obvious one.

You might have some luck with Japonica, but tbh ours are a bit shit in the shade...although in fairness they are in pots and have been neglected as we intended to put them in a particular location that isn't yet ready.

Clematis Armandii, Holboellia Latifolia, possibly Muehlenbackia although can't vouch for how fast it is

https://www.clematisonline.co.uk/evergreen-clematis

(no personal experience with these)

If it's a fence panel, one thing I'd suggest is to get some chicken wire and mount it neatly on the fence.

That way you can lift the whole thing off the fence panel, carefully fold it down on to the ground and lift back into place.

It's an afternoons work, but worth it for future proofing. Plus it doubles up as wire runners.

Cheers all. I hadn't considered ivy for whatever reason. Does it grow that fast initially? The internet is always woefully short on how fast something grows in the first 5 years or so I've found.

The Clementis Armandii looks like a possible. It's a corrugated iron fence with one of those bamboo screens attached to it.

The problem you've got is if it's in the shade, very few things will go quickly.

Have you thought about painting the corrugated iron? I wonder if you could take a different approach like putting a mirror in the middle and painting a mural - I'm sure there are sources that allow you to scale up images and print on A4 sheets.

if it's in the shade, very few things will go quickly

I can definitely vouch for holboellia being instantly rampant even in the fullest of shade. Despite this it is easy to cut back when needed.

More info here:
https://www.architecturalplants.com/product/holboellia-latifolia/

holboellia-latifolia

As long as you can ultimately kill it, then it sounds like we have a winner!

"bears edible fruit that look like well battered testicles". Nice!