Today I...

Today (well yesterday), I stole Sparkys Dutchie for the Guardian!

Did the tech work, did he track you down? Or is there a now a fresh dutchie on ebay?
"Only ridden 100 dry miles, then I lost both my legs in an industrial shredder so have to sell it".

You'll have to read the Guardian's Bike Blog to find out. Should be going up this week.

Spose that'll be something to read now the Daily Sport has gone.

Yeah, it'll be good for your brain.

Whats a brain?

I done found it!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/bike-blog/2011/apr/06/spylamp-anti-bike-theft-device

How long did it take to hacksaw through that U-lock Mark?

Any good though? A rear light seems like a bit of a naff disguise, would think something in the seat tube or bars would harder to spot / dispose of.

10 minutes with my buff house arms!

I didnt have a bottle jack to hand!

Snapped my Thomson Elite seatpost!

How did you manage that?

Seatpost was stuck so heated it up with a welding torch and clamping it in a vice. Donny and i were twisitng it and i noticed the writing warping on one side. Then it developed a hairline crack along the side. Stuck it on the dirt jumper!

Put it on the jumper? Won't it shear off and go up your bum the first time you land on it?

Nah. Gonna slam it in (the frame not my ass)

Today i found out that Pope Benedict is an anagram for Epic Bent Pedo

Recovered from being in a crash last night with a Mondeo.

Was on the way home yesterday, and some stupid cu*t emergency stopped at the zebra crossing at the end of Yarmouth Road, car behind him hammered the brakes, and I went straight into the back of him at about 20mph.

Ended up putting my hand through his rear light cluster and cutting it all up, smashing my head on the rear quarter section and have fucked up my knee when I hit the curb.

No fucker stopped to see if I was ok except the car I hit (obviously).

Oh dear I hope your ok now. Rest up mate. What was the out come with the driver?

Heal up son. Drivers are cunts.

Jesus. Was it the down by the Thorpe fish bar? didn't see you yesterday. Got out at six.

Hope your ok. Thanks for reminding me that I need a helmet.

Hope your ok. You get everything checked out? You have reminded me that I need a helmet.

Which crossing was it? hate that road with rush hour traffic.

Won't be on a bike for a few days. Tendonitis.

Yeah that's the place - right by that zebra crossing. Stupidly wasn't wearing my lid - but it was my face that took the impact, so probably wouldn't have made much of a difference.

It's a fucking stupid place for a zebra crossing, right after a roundabout.

The guy in the car was stella, really nice bloke, couldn't do enough to make sure I was ok - I feel pretty bad actually as he'll have to fork out for a new light cluster. I got his address, so I may send him some cash to help cover some of the cost, as it wasn't really his fault - it was the guy in front of him.

Checked over the bike last night - think the fork is fucked. The brake caliper sits at an odd angle to the wheel. On closer look I'm sure there's a slight split towards the top of the left leg, and the right dropout has all the paint cracked - so I'm sure it's fooked.

:(

Prezet. Heal up soon. I'm sorry you got hurt and that's a damn shame about your ride too.

May I play devil's advocate for a minute. In terms of the rules of the road, if someone in front of you stops and you haven't left enough room to stop, which results in a collision, it's your responsibility. I have to say that whilst the incident may be down to the bellend in front of your collidee, it's only your responsibility to take care of your dudes tail light. If I'm minding my business on bike or in car and someone stokes me on a bike from behind, I'd rightly expect them to pay me for the damage.

(saying this from the perspective of a driver and a cyclist who has been involved in rear end shunts before).

I got his address, so I may send him some cash to help cover some of the cost

I actually asked the police officer to give me his address so I could get in contact to sort something out...

Yeah I got that, sorry man I weirdly assumed that you felt he'd end up paying for it. I'll mind my business.

I know it's the realm of anoraks and panniers, but CTC membership includes 3rd party insurance. In case you plough into the back of someone who gets upset about it.