Caramel cycles - £200 track bikes

Yeah, or that Carrera.

Foffa?

It looks like caramel have 2 death machines in stock.

Freddy the oversize fixie and the Creme Caramel.

Me not want!

Was it worth a bump J?

Not sure, bored at work and stuck here until 5pm.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/Cycling-/7294/i.html?_catref=1&_ipg=25&_ssn=voanni&_trksid=p3911.c0.m1538

look familiar?

http://www.espressowheels.com/gallery.html

all the supposed clients seem to be selling their bikes on one ebay thread

^ "Nacho evades the Spanish cops on this speedy bike"
"Sebastian's erotic legacy bike with dildo bars"

Hilarious. Who writes this stuff?

it appears their customers may be fictitious

Perhaps they need a legal disclaimer

"Characters are entirely imaginary and any resemblance to persons living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental."

Bike # 43:

Ted the master chef put together this tasty Cinelli Pista frame with esspresso wheels in Calais France

The dumb fuck then took his bike to the beach and buried the aluminium wheels in wet sand to Guarantee that they would corrode and spunk his money up the fucking wall in a worse fashion than shopping at this godforsaken fixeh fashion store in the first god dam place

£9.60 for a brake calliper in their store mmmmmm that sounds like it's gonna be a quality bit of kit!

James breaks hearts and windscreens, as he cunts through east London on his secondhand death trap with Machiatto pedal bearings and unique pre-cum saddle cover
?

Repped

"nuknow is right at the top of the fixie universe in Portugal"

Percival slices his way through the traffic and pedestrians of Swanage high st, turning heads and stomachs, on his Super Skinny Latte fork bung and refurbished "Monaco" headset cap bolt

Prick

#22

The Weekend offender team decided to save the families of our customers the hassle of making ghostbikes by launching a hideous OTP one using our largely worthless components.

(Espresso Wheels) shall not be liable for any special or consequential damages that result from the use of, or the inability to use, the materials on this site or the performance of the products sold, *even if* Voanni Management Services Ltd. (Espresso Wheels) has been advised of the possibility of such damages.

                 **You understand that the use of cycling products  such as wheels  carry elements of risk which may result in serious  injury or death.**... **(Espresso Wheels) shall not be liable for any   injury sustained from the use of its products sold under the Espresso   Wheels brand name or any other.**

^ Is that the actual disclaimer on the site? Yep! I have no legal training but it sounds to me like they are saying even if we are told our products are shite we will not take responsibility if a wheel that you bought from us decides to spontaneously implode while you are cycling due to no fault of your own other than buying our crappy products.

^ it is unfortunately
http://www.espressowheels.com/terms.html

Means nothing. That won't stop them getting sued to shit if someone hurts themselves because their dismal wheels fail and cause a crash.

Still, why would you expect them to have any understanding of rudimentary law, when they haven't even a clue about cycling or bike building yet insist on occupying this area of retail?

£9.60 for a brake calliper in their store mmmmmm that sounds like it's gonna be a quality bit of kit!

and £27.8 chainset

Yeah I'm no legal-eagle but you can't absolve yourself from responsibility with a paragraph, shirley? Have they been misled?

Actually I don't give a shit.

^^^ bleh, my Stronglight chainset was about £30 and it lasted for years. The only reason I changed it was because the ring wore out and I had a spare chainset off another bike. I'm still using the LH crank arm on my beater actually.

The calliper is suspiciously cheap though. Looks like a Tektro R538 but less than half the price. Cheaper than Alhonga brakes.

They have no clue, why bother.

.