Ahoy thar landlubbers

I found the tranquility was occasionally interrupted by the sound of a small child drowning.

That is the most peaceful noise, well, it is after they stop screaming.

it's just a caravan on the water.
you're still shitting in a cupboard. into a bucket. while everyone else pretends not to hear or smell.
just outside. preparing food.

You know what I love about you, Damo?
Your sense of romance and adventure.

we invented perfectly good sanitation systems and use them in cities. going backwards is neither quaint nor appealing.

though this:
http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/falkirk/falkirkwheel/

fucking rocks.

Silly people - you want to do crawfish properly - Cajun style

I'd love to live on a Narrow boat, however I'm not sure how I'd get on with one- is being over 6 foot a disadvantage?

From this photo, probably;

My friends had a canal-boat made for them. It had a fucking aga in it.

It was about twice the width of any other boat there, and at least twice as high.

I have no idea how it worked, but it was awesome.

You'd really want something like this I saw moored in Venice, owned by one of the Microsoft people, front and rear helicopter pads too.

yeah, that is Paul Allen's, Microsoft co-founder, at one point the worlds most expensive yacht. Paid nearly $200k a month to keep in running with full time staff all year round, even though he only used it maybe a few weeks a year.

Any particular reason it would be flying the red ensign ?

Not sure how I'd feel if I own one of those.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a vessel that you're in control of rather than a handful of people employed by you?

Any particular reason it would be flying the red ensign ?

Shows where it's registerd.

Not sure how I'd feel if I own one of those.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a vessel that you're in control of rather than a handful of people employed by you?

You wouldn't, you'd employ some one to feel on your behalf.

I'd feel fucking awesome

I went on a canal boat holiday once.
I went with my girlfriend at the time and her family.
Her dad was a right grumpy fucker. He always gave me the dead eye like he knew what I was doing with his darling little princess.
Me and her used to go on ahead up the towpaths to open the locks, and in the fifteen minutes or so it took for the boat to catch up I'd get her to suck me off in the bushes.
My red, smug face really annoyed her dad when he eventually pulled up with the boat.
His red angry face said 'You didn't.'
My red sweaty face said 'I did.'
And he hated me more.

We got to a lock where the winding mechanism was jammed.
My girlfriend's mother was fussing like mad over it, trying to move it.
I took over.
I gave it full pasty, the heavy iron lock-key spun round...
and smacked her mother square in the fanny.
"Oooooooooooooo...ooooo.....oooooo..oo......o!"
She keeled over like a felled pine, cross eyed and holding her wounded clopper.
We had to carry her onto the boat with her in that position and we didn't see her for the rest of the day.
Her dad's eyes seethed with fresh hatred.
On the last day he managed to ground the boat on a muddy bank.
We all used the poles to shunt off, but he lost grip and the boat moved away leaving him clinging to a pole, squeaking.
I laughed like I'd never laughed before, and when we steered close enough I managed to grab him by the scruff of his neck and haul him aboard.
"Ow! My neck! You're strangling me!!'
"Your funny shoes are wet and they smell all pondy. Hahaahahhahaha!'
His eyes were like the sun, his amberviews were magnifying glasses, but I'm nobody's woodlouse.
'Hahahahaha! You looked well funny up that pole, Mr P! Hahahaha!'

They went canal boating every year.
I didn't get another invite.

Thanks for all the comments. V helpful. To summarise a few of them.

Yes it is a residential mooring so I get power, laundry and shower facilities etc.

You're all welcome to visit - just not at the same time initially but a crayfish ride would be awesome in the future.

I have thoght about buying a narrowboat but thought it seemed sensible to do it this way first to suss it out.

And lucifer - can I book you in as resident writer. ^^ That post is fantastic,

3 days to go - I can't wait!

Moored at Naburn, Sumo?

yeah. Boats still there probably. Haven't touched it in 2 or 3 years though since my family moved to Edinburgh and I moved to London.

yeah. Boats still there probably. Haven't touched it in 2 or 3 years though since my family moved to Edinburgh and I moved to London.

I'll pop along and steal the old crate! Become the North's first inland pirate! Ahargh!

My neck of the woods. I grew up in york.

My brother lives in fulford. Naburn marina is great. Nice pub nearby as well - the sun inn.

yeah, that is Paul Allen's, Microsoft co-founder, at one point the worlds most expensive yacht. Paid nearly $200k a month to keep in running with full time staff all year round, even though he only used it maybe a few weeks a year.

Bet its a good laugh dossing...i mean working there for the rest of the year!

His eyes were like the sun, his amberviews were magnifying glasses, but I'm nobody's woodlouse.

++rep

Did you ever 'go down' this one?

Me and her used to go on ahead up the towpaths to open the locks, and in the fifteen minutes or so it took for the boat to catch up I'd get her to suck me off in the bushes.

Is that the one near Devizes? If so, I've been down there, yes.

No, but I've 'been up' this one a few times, I can tell you.

Bingley Five Rise locks.