Hair removal

How fucking hairy are you people? Evo-frickin-lution people.. shed some of that gorilla.. sheeet! :P

Pretty damned hairy!

Re, the person that posted a tub of chamois cream, can someone explain that whole general idea to me?
I assume you slather either the chamois or your arse in the cream (maybe there are products for either?) and this cuts down on the friction.
Doesn't it feel like you have either shat yourself or missed your jersey pocket with your banana and it has become mushed up in ur crack?

Pretty damned hairy!

Re, the person that posted a tub of chamois cream, can someone explain that whole general idea to me?
I assume you slather either the chamois or your arse in the cream (maybe there are products for either?) and this cuts down on the friction.
Doesn't it feel like you have either shat yourself or missed your jersey pocket with your banana and it has become mushed up in ur crack?

Talc or dry properly

Talc or dry properly

Eh?

Eh?

burp

Pretty damned hairy!

Re, the person that posted a tub of chamois cream, can someone explain that whole general idea to me?
I assume you slather either the chamois or your arse in the cream (maybe there are products for either?) and this cuts down on the friction.
Doesn't it feel like you have either shat yourself or missed your jersey pocket with your banana and it has become mushed up in ur crack?

Either or and no it doesn't make you feel like you had an accident.
Some contain a mild anaesthetic.
It has to be better than the old ingrowing hair business.

Talc or dry properly

Eh?

Yeah drying properly after washing stops irritation from that moisture but it's the sweat i work up riding that's the real trouble.

Surely we should just merge this thread into the million "should I shave my legs" threads?

my mum uses this recipe, and i used it the other day and its awesome!

get lemon juice and sugar in a pan, fry till essentially caramel consistency, take out of pan, let cool.
moisten with warm water, and spread over leg hair.

rip off as with waxing, but then just remodel it so a clean section touches hairs.

So you basically have a chunk of caramel that you repeatedly peel off and reshape to stick back on?

Is it easy to tear it off quickly?

Is it advisable to use on "sensitive" parts?

Yeah drying properly after washing stops irritation from that moisture but it's the sweat i work up riding that's the real trouble.

Talc or spray your arse with deoderant.

Truthfully no idea as I don't have the sweaty arse problem. Maybe time to look at clothing to help the sweat wick away?

So you basically have a chunk of caramel that you repeatedly peel off and reshape to stick back on?

Is it easy to tear it off quickly?

Is it advisable to use on "sensitive" parts?

Supposed to be, a friend is a beautician and she say its brilliant, that is if its sugaring.

Talc or spray your arse with deoderant.
Truthfully no idea as I don't have the sweaty arse problem. Maybe time to look at clothing to help the sweat wick away?

He's already riding in lycra.

I wouldn't spray deodorant there.

Try chamois cream. Assos is nice but a cheaper if not quite so 'thrilling' alternative is Sudocream from your local pharmacy. You can rub into into your crack undercarriage and/or into the short's chamois.

How fucking hairy are you people? Evo-frickin-lution people.. shed some of that gorilla.. sheeet! :P

I'm fucking hairy as fuck. I've got a huge love carpet on me chest. Luckily my lady likes, nice tuggin when you're luvin ;)

I'm not gonna go in to detail about my behind.

Thank you.

full on carpet on your chest and a hairless sacks and ass would look.. interesting.. i'd be interested. or do you comb it? give it a wet look soul glow kind of thing

I tried the sack, it is a bit interesting. Think I'll pass on the butt though.
Maybe I'll wax my whole body one day.

And I do comb my love carpet. Gotta maintain that thing.

If any of you decide to wax your ass, then you must exfoliate and moisturise wherever you have taken the hair off.
If you don't you will get ingrowing hairs and infected follicles, I know dancers that wax/I wax and the only way to avoid having a car c-rash for a chest is to exfoliate and moisturise every day until they have started to grow back properly.
It can mean they grow back less strong as you weaken the root/follicle so they are easier to pull out next time (if there is one).
Be warned, if you do wax remember mens body hair has really strong roots, and will hurt like fuckery and bleed a lot when its depilated. I have waxed loads of boys chests and they can get really messy, it's not for the faint hearted if the roots are strong then it's a huge dose of htfu...though the results are good when it's done well.
Even if you shave you should still exfoliate and moisturise...

use the assos creme (post #40 it works, I use it on MTB endurance rides. I used to get chaffed to hell in the heat of the summer on anything over 50 miles now I can ride all day with no problems.

it does feel like you've crapped yourself when you first start riding but that soon goes away

This is meant to be good:

                                                                ![](http://www.chemistonline.co.uk/img/shp/Cuticura-Standard-Talcum-Powder_S.jpg)

Much better alternative than shaving everything off or the pain of waxing.

I did the shaving thing myself once.

Everything felt all sensitive and pervy.

I couldn't stop wanking for days.

I was knackered.

It ruined my performance on the bike.

And there's something very wrong about a near middle aged man staring at his own bum hole in the mirror while he shaves it.
I felt like my life had reached a new low.

Best leave well alone.

Be warned, if you do wax remember mens body hair has really strong roots, and will hurt like fuckery and bleed a lot when its depilated. I have waxed loads of boys chests and they can get really messy, it's not for the faint hearted if the roots are strong then it's a huge dose of htfu...though the results are good when it's done well.

Nonsense. I've had my legs waxed for charity once. It tingled. Pain is something ladies make up to garner sympathy.

+1 to the exfoiliation though.

Ha, this thread!
I've been suffering for the last 3 days with a muthafucking rash on my shoulders (I explain); At my mate's house the other day, we decided to go to the LF Lido, his missus goes on to the toilet to do her biz (wax), comes back and starts going like: 'you should let me take those 2 little patches on your shoulders...etc' - I am a very civilized chimp when it comes to body hair, all normal, no excess, except for 2 little patches I've always had right on the top of my shoulders, so... metrosexuality only so far - I replied, 'fuck it, why not, I really want wear my fishnet wifebeater anyway..'. So far so good, I was warned though that if it was my 1st time trying wax, and on my back, it could leave me with tiny spots/rash like marks for a day or 2, even so I went on. The pain was bearable, very precise and fast, but right after she finished I felt like this immense burning sensation that has been with me ever since. Loads of cream now, no fucking sun on my shoulders, no wifebeater, not for me then.
^^It's all good advice up there, exfoliate, moisturize, scrub, lick, spit, just don't leave it unattended.

Nonsense. I've had my legs waxed for charity once. It tingled. Pain is something ladies make up to garner sympathy.

+1 to the exfoiliation though.

Maybe you have ladies legs then clive...;D

that's why it only 'tingled'...

I've seen Clive's legs...he's all man

Unless you're happy spending the maintenance time on your ass crack required to ensure no grown in hairs chamois cream and a good pair of padded shorts is the way to go... I got stuff called Udderly Smooth from Amazon a while back (designed for Cow tits no less and now used for cycling?) and it is great-nice smooth friction free ride that doesn't feel like you've crapped your pants and it moisturises your goochal region too. Seriously though-if youre body has hair there its there for a reason-helps stop infections and the like and I don't imagine ass crack stubble would be a pleasant addition to the already sweaty bum ride.

ha! That article on ass shaving is priceless!

"Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!"

I've seen Clive's legs...he's all man

Ok, that explains eveyrything...it must be his 'follicles'...;p

Don't spend money on Assos chamois cream. Use Sudacrem instead.