Taking it slow

focus on riding at a smooth steady pace, not fast. When the nodders hustle past, just go zen, stay smooth and try not to look smug when you catch up to them at the lights.

If you are a competant and confident fixed rider (can stop quickly without using your brake), try going brakeless. You might not use your brake much, but knowing it's there is very comforting. Without that comfort, I find I ride a lot more carefully and am more respectful of other road users.

put on a yellow fluorescent vest

If you are a competant and confident fixed rider (can stop quickly without using your brake), try going brakeless. You might not use your brake much, but knowing it's there is very comforting. Without that comfort, I find I ride a lot more carefully and am more respectful of other road users.

yes.. true.. breaking your legs/body/face in a horrible brakeless accident would slow you down lot

piss yourself as you get closer.
then you'll be forced to ride around for a bit at the end of the ride, making you relax.

Sit up and beg, rather than in the drops, also drop your saddle so your not as efficient.

1. wear long, preferably skinny jeans
   
2. put sticks up both legs
   
   

implied that the sticks are of sufficient diameter, this will definitely slow you right down.

Take off the chain and hobby horse it

store hazelnuts in you left cargo trouser pocket and pontificate on the molecular degradation of your spokes through excessive speed. Also, try removing your pedals.

I have just stolen your front wheel. PM your address so I can post it on. Enjoy the walk.

Take the bus.

Ride the journey, realise you left something at work so go back, then cycle home again.

only allow yourself to turn left

Try some relaxation aura bracelets.