2010-05-23 - Rider Down, South Lambeth Road

So this afternoon I went round to the shop to get some houmous and left my bike against the wall outside (idiotic thing to do, I know). I go in for three seconds and then, before even buying the houmous, I check outside to see if it's still there.

It's not.

"Shit", I think, "it's gone again!" (see thread: http://www.lfgss.com/thread28833.html. However, glancing down the road I see some guy on the floor, my bike just beside him. "Ha!", I think, "how do you like no brakes?". Unfortunately when I run down to him I see that he's shaking like hell, has urinated on himself and has a massive gash in his head.

Fortunately a fire-engine is just up the road and comes down to check on him. They get there just in time, as he had stopped breathing having swallowed his tongue. Ambulance finally arrives and I explain to everyone what happened as he's being put onto the stretcher. I reckon he should be all right really but it was absolutely horrific and I am still shivering now from the incident. This is the second person my bike has put in hospital. Although he seriously fucked up my shiny new Czech aero wheel, I really hope he's ok and has sustained no lasting injury.

If anyone saw it and has any future info about how he's doing I'd really like to know.

William

A classic lfgss story. Poor bloke.

Fuck me that must have been an odd experience. I didn't think you could actually swallow your tongue.

WAC, got what he deserved. Arsehole.

Your 'Czech aero wheel' sounds cool, got a pic?

nothing amazing but I liked it a lot

also, I'm loving the new "please make sure this is not a repost thread" warning.

Nice, I've seen them before, a friend gets them from Czech Republic. Copies of DP18's I think.

Anyway how did he fuck it up?! Give us more details! So far it sounds like he rode 10 metres or so, toppled off the bike and somehow fucked himself & a wheel up.

yeh i didn't actually see it but i think what had happened was that he'd tried to hop down the curb, tried to coast (mid air not a problem as you just get a jolt) but then when he landed he probably flipped over the front of it while at the same time landing so hard on the wheel that it buckled. that's what i reckon happened. he was probably going reasonably fast as well what with it being a getaway and all.

Never trust radial ;-)

That is gold :)
Karma rules

Glad you got your bike back, shame about your wheel and the poor bastard who stole it. I don't condone bike theft but I wouldn't wish a near death experience like that on anyone. He's a lucky boy by the sound of things.

That's a fantastic story!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when friends and loved ones ask: 'What happened?'
and he has to say, "I'm a thieving nonce"

This story makes me feel good.

Get a job you prick. Buy your own bike.

instant karma

doubt he will try stealing again, so hopefully lesson learned

Judge, jury & executioner

Hope he recovers, but he may think twice about nicking bikes again

I'm not bothered if he doesn't recover to be honest. No loss to society.

From your description he could have been suffering an overdose and that's why he came off.

I am glad you got your bike back William and even gladder that you are able to show such compassion in the circumstances. Well done mate, you are an example to us all.

I'm not bothered if he doesn't recover to be honest. No loss to society.

From your description he could have been suffering an overdose and that's why he came off.

Harsh! Would you have picked up your bike and left him fitting?

That's a fantastic story!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when friends and loved ones ask: 'What happened?'
and he has to say, "I'm a thieving nonce"

This story makes me feel good.

Get a job you prick. Buy your own bike.

+1

"Swallowed his tongue" = extra comedic value.

fucking hell.
so.
because the bike thief nearly died we're not mocking the op for failing to lock his bike up?

i see.

From your description he could have been suffering an overdose and that's why he came off.

i see what you did there. you didn't look at the symptoms and extrapolate back, you looked at the symptoms and applied your own prejudices.
stick to being an IT god.

Was this near the Canton Arms by ant chance?

any

Pure karma. Hope he doesn't end up brain damaged or anything but he deserved that.

Judge, jury & executioner

Karma. Got what he deserved.

If this was the USA, you would probably face a lawsuit for failure to warn that the bike had no brakes, was dangerous and should not be riden without experience and foot retention. As you are in England, however, you can sue the toe-rag for the damage to your wheel and if you suffer any psychological disturbance as a resilt of witnessing the incident, for the pain and injury so suffered. It seems unlikely (and i hope you haven't suffered any pain or suffering) that you will be able to claim for the latter count but it would be nice to sue the little blighter in the small claims court.

I think that your reaction is exemplary and echo Will's comments. It would still be nice to see him sued.